I Want You To Want Me: Punk Rock Advice from Budokan

America has officially entered a recession, and I wrote a 400 word post about hiring managers who feel that they can have the pick of the litter during economic downturns. These are managers who will purposely slow down the recruiting process in order to ensure that they’ve seen every possible candidate on the market.

  • I raged against arrogance.
  • I warned against hubris.
  • I reminded employers to uphold their end of the employment agreement and argued for a good-faith recruiting process where candidates would be given a fair shake at a job that affords an employee a decent salary and an opportunity to grow as a human being.

You can’t change Human Resources when you enable a dysfunctional talent acquisition process.

You — as the HR pro — have to stop the madness. Cut these hiring managers off at the knees by deauthorizing requisitions and taking ownership of the talent pipeline in your organization. Other departments engage in turf wars regarding parking spaces, offices, and budgets. If you’re going to play with the big boys, fight for something valuable: ownership of the company’s future.

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That’s the whole post, in essence — but I deleted the first draft because the song I Want You To Want Me was in my head as I was typing. It’s Cheap Trick

…and at Budokan, no less.

That’s not very punk rock. You deserve better.

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The upside? Now you’re getting a shorter post with just the highlights.

The downside? Now that song will be stuck in your head — but at least I found a cute video.

HR Advice, Family & Holidays

If your life is anything like mine, your extended family will come together over the holidays and someone will drink too much light beer, eat too many cookies, and start complaining about his job.

It’s probably your cousin — the guy who wears a baseball hat to every family event. He will get all sentimental & shit and bemoan the loss of family values. He may also rage against the commercialism of Christmas and criticize corporate America — and you’ll have to resist the urge to point out that he drove to the holiday party in his Ford F150, he is wearing a pair of jeans from Old Navy, and he is eating his weight in government subsidized high-fructose corn syrup.

Deck the halls, yo. I don’t envy you.

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Why don’t you mix things up, this year? I dare you to be a shit-disturber and tell your family member to

  • stop buying stuff he doesn’t need.
  • sell one of his cars.
  • learn how to cook.
  • vacation locally.
  • use coupons.
  • give up red meat.
  • cancel the cable TV.
  • buy clothing at consignment stores.
  • stop buying his kids soda and candy for snacks.
  • find personal meaning in life by volunteering with animals, abused children, or those less fortunate.

Or you can tell your family member to STFU and eat another cookie.

What’s it gonna be?

Monday Morning HR Humor: Ventibate

2859325157_42c459597e1Do you read Ventibate?

It’s a site that was designed to let you scream, yell, and vent before you take a gun to the office. I refer people to this site on a daily basis — especially readers of Punk Rock HR who write and complain about their jobs. You aren’t powerless if you can complain about Terrorists in India, if you can tell NWA to suck it, or if you can write a simple paragraph about The Backstreet Boys and The National Anthem. I’m also a big fan of the WORK category.

This site is so American that it makes me want to cry.

Go check it out while you’re on your Monday morning conference calls, yo.

Thank You Notes & Human Resources

As a Human Resources professional, I don’t expect a thank you note after an interview. Here’s a punk rock HR tip:

  • Sending a thank you note has no bearing on whether or not you get a job. If you feel compelled to follow-up on our interview, please save a tree and send an email.

I operate differently as an aunt, a sister, and a cousin.

  • If you don’t send a thank you note, you won’t get a gift on the following holiday.

Am I keeping score? You bet I am — and you’re on notice.

Mumbai & Work

Much like 9/11 in the United States, I’m struck by how many of the victims in Mumbai were injured in the line of work. Hotel workers, police officers, taxi drivers, restaurant servers, and even white collar workers — enjoying business dinners with colleagues — were injured while doing their jobs.

The events in Mumbai remind me to remind you: it’s a good idea to kiss your loved ones and count your blessings before you leave for work.

Black Friday: Buy Nothing Day

Every year, I set my alarm for 5:00 AM and get ready for door-busting deals.

Most years, I go back to bed and sleep until 10:00 AM. I suggest you do the same.

bnd08_red_us

Here’s my best job-related advice: your kids don’t need more toxic toys from China. Get more sleep and keep your hard earned money, yo.

Tryptophan

It’s a punk rock Thanksgiving around here with naps, bacon apple stuffing, and a poonchy cat [Emma] who is super-snuggly because everything smells like turkey.

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

If you are a Human Resources pro and you have to work, this weekend, tell us your story here. We want to know — is it really as bad as it seems to work in retail (or work anywhere?) on Black Friday?

Punk Rockers Aren’t Thankful

Everyone knows that I am thankful for this blog, your readership, and my cats. You know what I’m NOT thankful for?

  • [Revised] Terrorist attacks in India
  • [Revised #2] My grandmother is back in the hospital. Details to follow. Ugh.
  • A bad economy
  • Record unemployment
  • Plunging consumer confidence
  • Two wars
  • Terrorism
  • Somali pirates
  • Animal abuse
  • Child abuse
  • Hunger
  • Poverty
  • Malaria
  • Cancer [in humans and cats]
  • AIDS [also FIV]
  • Anxiety & Depression
  • Kashmir/Pakistan/India
  • Violence in Thailand
  • No Child Left Behind
  • Rabies
  • Distemper
  • Dictators
  • Gun Violence
  • Climate Change
  • Vladmir Putin and Dimitri Medvedev
  • Bad dye jobs

Just so you know, this list also serves as an accurate account of what keeps me up at night…

…especially the Somali pirates.

I’m kinda thankful for daily distraction of the failing economy — as it keeps me from obsessing about foreign and diplomatic issues that I can’t control.

What are you NOT thankful for?

HR Strategery

Breaking news: I’ll be here on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.

It’s me + a room full of strategic HR thinkers and leaders.

Any advice? Any questions I should ask the attendees?

Punk Rock HR Vlog: Making Shinola

I am genuinely impressed by how many people are making money and creating opportunities in this shitty economy.

You’ve heard me say it before but I’ll say it again: most HR professionals don’t know shit from shinola, but some of them are making shinola out of shit. Including me.

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Laurie Ruettimann: Who Cares?


Laurie Ruettimann is a punk rock, Human Resources professional with extensive Fortune 500 experience. She writes and speaks about business trends, employment, Corporate America, and permanently opting-out of the rat race.

She also believes you should spay & neuter your pets.


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