I have some work-related predictions for the new year. My goal was to come up with 2011 predictions. Then I went with 11.
I give you seven.
No one ever accused me of being an overachiever. Here they are.
- You won’t get a big raise. I know. I’m psychic.
- Your company will hire some people. Remember what it was like to have a new guy in the office? Remember what it was like to be the new guy? Welcome that new employee with open arms. It’s been tough out there.
- Your boss will leave. He hates you, too. He is sick of your poor attitude. He’s done with office politics and he wants to work with fun, interesting, and smart people. There will be more opportunities for guys like him in 2011.
- Office gossip will return to boring topics. We used to laugh at people’s hairdos and ugly khaki pants instead of obsessing about impending layoffs. Those days will return.
- The anxiety-ridden guy in your office will finally go to the EAP. He’s been freaked out for years and he is bringing everyone down. HR will intervene (after planning the 2011 company picnic) and recommend counseling. We can’t force the guy to go, but we can give him some compelling reasons why it would be in his best interest to have a conversation with a licensed counselor.
- Your title will change. Thanks to increased productivity over the past few years, HR departments are starting to realize that you are doing 22 jobs but you still have your old job title. Just remember that a job title change doesn’t mean a compensation adjustment.
- That chick in your office who tries to “out dude” the guys will calm the heck down. Insecure women who face ambiguous pressures at the office will often ‘go dude’ in order to calm their nerves and feel more in control. You know this woman. She talks sports a little too aggressively. She knows a lot of statistics but doesn’t seem to enjoy the knowledge. As the economy levels off, the chick-dude will stop trying to fit in with the guys. She will find a few minutes to talk to the women in her department. Be kind to her, okay? She’s one of us.
In short: 2011 won’t suck as much as 2009 or 2010. External factors at work will improve slightly but know this: nothing gets better if you can’t see past your own personal ennui and dissatisfaction in life. If your job eats away at your soul, 2011 is the year to figure out how to change it. What keeps us in jobs we hate? Debt and health insurance. Can you cut back on your expenses? Can you work somewhere better for less money? File bankruptcy? Can you get your health in order so you don’t need as many prescription drugs?
I can’t answer those questions for you.
I hope you find some peace in 2011.