2010 Regrets

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Carrie Fisher recently said that she doesn’t like to regret things.  I am the anti-Carrie Fisher. I have nothing but regrets.

Maybe it’s my ongoing battle with anxiety, but I lay in bed at night and rethink the fundamental mistakes of my day. From my mismatched pajamas to my ongoing disputes with family members, I can’t help but replay the incidents of my day and think, “Yeah, I could’ve done that better.”

So it’s pretty easy to write my list of 2010 regrets.

  • I regret writing about an argument with my husband. I wanted to try something new and display vulnerability. It totally backfired. I had people coming out of the woodwork and offering advice, guidance, and support. I learned that writing about my real life is almost as annoying as living my real life. I’ll stick to Human Resources, career advice, and cats.
  • I regret being a poor friend to people who want to be my friend. I am needy and I want to be liked; however, I don’t trust easily. I am suspicious of easy-going people who want to spend time with me. I don’t like fun.
  • I regret walking away from my HR career. This is true. I love my life as a writer. I have the ultimate freedom to do whatever I want — but there are days when I’m like, “I gave up my 401k for this bullshit?”
  • I regret picking on Seth Godin. Dude has a point. Sometimes. I just don’t like his style.
  • I regret drinking at HR conferences. I make poor decisions when I drink. I pretend to find integrated talent management solutions really interesting. I don’t.
  • I regret writing about my love affair with SHRM. I love the people at SHRM but it wasn’t one week later when their stupid board picked a fight with TLNT. I felt like such a chump. This is why I don’t display vulnerabilities. Assholes.
  • I regret auto-following people on Twitter. I used SocialToo to follow everyone who follows me, and now I’m clogged with spammers and jerks. What’s worse is that I tried to use Twitter Karma to clean it up and I blocked a whole bunch of people I was following — like Roger Ebert. Oops. My bad.
  • I regret wearing Theory and Nanette Lepore dresses to the #hrdemo show. As I type this, I’m wearing Lands End pajamas. I could do better. I don’t even dress up to go to Target. I’m doing it wrong.

My biggest regret is that there were moments when I communicated poorly. My thoughts, words, and actions didn’t connect with my intentions. I take full responsibility and apologize if this happened to you. Believe me, you’ve been on my mind.

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