2013 Resolutions


Is Our Food Safe From Republicans?I always end the year by writing about my accomplishments, failure, regrets, and resolutions.

I never write any resolutions but I have to tell you something:

  • I resolve to learn how to cook.

Last week, I came down with food poisoning for the second time in 60 days. When I worked in Human Resources, I used to believe that food poisoning and stomach flu were lies created by lazy employees who wanted a “mental health day” but didn’t have the balls to ask for a day off.

I still sorta believe it. You fuckers sit on a throne of lies. Just take a vacation day and don’t lie to me about it.

But gastroenteritis is no joke. And I traced the source of the contamination to one restaurant. It also happens to be my favorite restaurant, so I am really bummed.

The reason we eat out so often is because my husband does 100% of the cooking. A night at our favorite restaurant gives him a break. Unfortunately, it also gives me diarrhea and nausea. I am down 10 lbs since November 10th — and it has nothing to do with pilates or running. In fact, my abs might be more developed now than they were before I got sick.

So my goal is to take a cooking class. Get the basics right. Learn how to make breakfast for dinner. I dunno.

My real resolution?

  • Don’t get sick from eating cheese and bean enchiladas.

Wish me luck!

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