Adult ADHD: Get Some

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Do you have adult ADHD? If you don’t, get some.

It turns out that the adult version of ADHD accounts for more than 20 lost days of work each year, which is a combination of lost days of work + role impairment + reduced productivity. That’s more than half a month lost to nothing — including staring at the conference room walls, surfing the internet, weeping in your cubicle, and calling in sick.

Personally, I thought that the study would find a correlation between fewer vacation/PTO days and an increased level of ADHD in the adult workforce. If you spend more time at work, wouldn’t you find yourself fidgety and depressed? Surprisingly, I’m totally wrong and adult ADHD does not correlate with the time you spend at the office. The country with the most ADHD-riddled adults in the workforce is France. (Oui, France. I can’t believe it, either!)

The World Health Organization states that between 3 percent and 4 percent of adults worldwide have ADHD. I believe that ADHD is a disease that reflects the evolving nature of humankind; it’s a psychological affliction that represents the changing state of our consciousness. Very simply, human beings are still learning to process multi-stream methods of communication. Your children’s children’s children’s children will be multi-tasking fools. They will use technology in an efficient manner, master the art of surfing the internet and paying attention during conference calls, and they will have no problem with organization and clutter. (They will also digest food in a special pouch, own pet robots who operate as servants, and communicate telepathically.)

The future will be awesome, yo.

If you can’t find any adult ADHD in your medicine cabinet and you want to take some days off, get one of these awesome problems:

If you really want a few days off so you can take the kids to the water park, this summer, you can always find yourself coming down with a case of nasty food poisoning. (I prefer food poisoning to a day at a water park, but it’s your call.)

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