Welcome to day 4 of my lists.
Many of you know that I hosted The Career Summit, last month. I am really proud to be associated with awesome people who produced such amazing career advice & content. It was a very rewarding experience and the feedback has been great.
There was one moment during the summit, though, that caught my ear. One of our advisors suggested that baby boomers need to seem youthful and stylish. Hm. Okay. Yeah. Age works against all of us. As a piece of advice, she suggested that older people should consider dying their hair.
And I was like, “Hold the phone. No.”
Dying your hair is pretty risky advice. I’m the granddaughter of a beautician and a woman who hasn’t seen her natural hair color since 1988. Most hair dye in a box — which is what unemployed people can afford — is not meant to be applied to 50+ year old women (or men).
The colors look drab and dark. Hair dye won’t cover gray hair in a uniform way. And listen up — I’ve never been featured in a fashion magazine as an expert, but nothing is worse than when you have gray eyebrows and black hair.
Instead of dying your hair to seem younger, here are the top things you can do to freshen up your appearance.
- Get a good haircut. It’s the holiday season. Ask your family and friends to buy you a gift card to a really great spa or salon. Get a consultation before a cut. And if you’re a dude, stop getting your hair cut at Sports Champs USA and find a real salon in your area.
- If you want to dye your hair, get highlights. Most salons will charge you $7/foil if you just want a little blonde to lighten up your look.
- Drop the turtleneck. Listen, I am thirty-five years old and have the beginnings of an awesome turkey neck. I rock my waddle, but I understand that you want to camouflage those wrinkles. Unfortunately, the turtleneck ages you 20 years. Donate anything that makes you look like an ‘empty nester’ who has given up on fashion. Get thee to Walmart and get a good anti-wrinkle cream from Oil of Olay and stop worrying about your neck.
- Spruce up old wardrobe pieces by visiting a tailor. Ill-fitting pieces will age everyone.
- Wear nicer shoes. I know those orthopedic shoes are awesome. In any other situation, they would work fine with those black pants. For your interview or a networking event? Not so much. Payless or DSW can offer you nice, sensible, and more stylish alternatives. This applies to dudes, too.
- Get a new tie. Seriously, buddy.
- Limit accessories. Accessories can be tricky for the most stylish among us. For boomers? It can be a curse.
- Crest is your friend. Brighten your smile on the cheap. Skip the expensive dental whitening from the dentist and invest in good toothpaste and maybe a round of whitestrips.
- Have some confidence. I’m not kidding you. There’s nothing worse than a deferential older person. You’re not dead. You’re not weak. You have experience. You know the answers to these ridiculous behavior-based questions. Rock that interview or don’t waste my time.
I can’t stress enough that dying your hair — especially if you’ve never done it before — is a bad idea. If you are considering a dye job, consult with a colorist who knows what she’s doing. The wrong color from a box can end up costing you hundreds of dollars to fix.
Trust me on that. The last color correction I had was in 2008 while I was doing a job search in Canada and I’m still paying for it.
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Amen . Beyonce may tell you that her hair color is luxurious and lead you to believe that you can get salon quality color from your local Target shelf, but unless you know what you are doing and have practice (and usually help and a consult from a pro), you can tell a difference. … from a girl who’s own mother asked recently, “Do you even know what your natural hair color is anymore?”
I will tell you that I understand why people dye their own hair. I did it in my teens and early 20s. But it just takes one accident and a pixie hair cut to remind you never to do it again.
And professionals make mistakes, too. I’m still growing out my hair from the nightmare that was the Red Accident 2009.
Hey, Yo-
Some more things to make the baby boomers look younger: Wear all black, get an expensive shiny belt buckle, grow a goatee, get a nice watch, shine your shoes, buy only black socks and the kind that go up over your calf, text someone once each day and tell people that you text, and read MagnificentBastard.com.
That’s about it.
Oh, and make lots of money. Like Charles Barkley said of Michael Jordan, “Notice how better looking he got when he made the big money?”
I always felt that was about Don Johnson.
I read a quote from Madonna that shaping your eyebrows and brushing them up makes you look younger. Oh, and avoid blue eyeliner, although I’m not sure I agree with that one.
The brow thing is true. I don’t know about blue eyeliner.
Laurie,
What’s the advice for those of us with no hair? Shit out of luck? Toup?
Own it. Don’t try to pretend like you have it.
Are you just bald on top? Nothing worse than bald on top with hair on the sides and back. That just screams aged, old, bald guy. Shave it all off. Looks much better and younger. Embrace it. And it’s sexy too. In this market whatever gives you the edge, go for it!
The above replies are right on! Own your baldness! I spent seven years trying to cope with the middle of my scalp where nothing grew anymore. No stylist under the age of 50 seemed to know what to do with the parts where the hair was growing to make it fit well with the part where it wasn’t — until my wife’s girlfriend, who was an out-of-work stylist, said “Go short everywhere.” She was right. She gave me almost a military cut — sort of a Jean-Luc Picard look. Not only was it easier to take care of (I can cut it myself with one of those home-groomer thingees with the guard set at 3 or 4), but it knocked five years off my look.
I’m so pleased that two years later I’m actually trying to screw up the courage to completely shave it, but keep my goatee. My only concern is I’m not sure if my scalp is lumpy/blemished/whatever after 48 years of always being hidden under hair. Plus, I will have to always wear a hat and/or sunscreen in the summer, as I am outdoors for long periods almost every weekend.
Bald is sexy. I am 56 years old and when I see a bald guy with a nice shaped head, Ooooooooooo! I just want to kiss it. The bald and goatee? You rock.
No kidding. Dyeing ones hair isn’t easy for some…especially when you are folically challenged.
Luckily I’m short. I can’t see that high.
Great list. I’d add: get out of the house and out of your cultural comfort zone. Check out free events like gallery openings, and bookmark a few arts organization calendars in your browser (start with the closest university or college). Challenge yourself here.
Also, for the guys (and maybe this goes without saying), invest in one of those little battery-powered nose- and ear-hair trimmers, and use it (often)! Be on the lookout for wild-ass scraggly eyebrows, too.
If you wear glasses, invest in some quality frames. Shop for these with someone younger / more fashion-forward, and be fearless about taking their advice.
Most important, make sure there’s at least one fashion-savvy woman in your circle who’s not afraid to give you her unvarnished opinion. Can’t tell you how many times my wife has rescued me from “But it’s still a perfectly good…” syndrome. It’s not “retro:” it’s just old — and it works against you as surely as a date stamp across your forehead.
This is such good advice for doods. Spot on.
Ken, you beat me to the nose/ear/eyebrows comment. The growth on those tends to kick in for almost every guy around age 30.
Most barbers and salons will trim your eyebrows to avoid the scary Andy-Rooney-caterpillar look. The nose/ear trimmers are all under $20. And have someone check your work.
Re: Bald or balding – I’d say if there’s anything remaining on your head, get it nicely trimmed and shaped. Make sure there’s nothing scraggly on your head or neck. And if you can pull it off, shave your head. Clean cut and streamlined is good. Scraggly, combover-y hair makes you seem like The Guy Who Smells Like Pee At Work. And also, a prime candidate for the new season of “Hoarders.”
AWESOME.
Although cat pee is my signature scent under the new Scrubby®™ line of fragrances at Walgreens. Get some for Xmas.
Thank you on the hair dying comment.
I’m 39 and rocking my grey hair – a good har cut makes all the difference.
I think it’s good advice to try and look youthful, which to me is all about your last point – confidence, and nothing about trying to look like you are 25. Because you aren’t.
Awesome. I keep reminding myself to dress age appropriately when I go to events. I skew cougarish, though. I’m working on it.
Can I ask you all a question? It might sound a bit odd, but please bear with me…
Americans all seem to have the most beautiful white teeth. OK, I know us Brits aren’t renowned for gorgeous white shiny smiles, but even my dentist tells me that dental whitening is seriously bad for your teeth – apparently it erodes the enamel, makes your teeth more sensitive to hot / cold, and you need to keep having it done (i.e. it’s not permanent). Can you confirm / not confirm this for me, and if this is the case, what other products / techniques can you use to make your teeth a beautiful white?
Thanks!
It does erode the enamel over time if done too many times or for too long each time. You will have to redo it if you maintain “stainer” habits eg lots of smoking/red wine/coffee. For significantly stained teeth, I suggest whitening once at the dentist, followed by very occasional use of strips (1x in several mths if at all) balanced with reduced intake of staining products if you can. I like my coffee, but luckily, I’ve never had to get my teeth professionally done. Tried whitening strips & stopped 1/3 of the way b/c the effect was pronounced enough.
Maintenance trick: After whitening, start brushing like a mofo with sensodyne toothpaste (recoats the enamel, zaps the sensitivity) for at least 2-3wks if not permanently.
Awesome. I have no idea how any of this works. I just use Crest.
Great list, Laurie. I had colored my hair for years, and about 2 years ago decided to just let it go natural. OK, it’s gray. So what? It’s beautiful! My 20-something nieces (who I admit are biased) are always telling me I’m “stylin’” (which I’ve assumed is a good thing?? LOL!). I’m comfortable with my age and my appearance…for the most part. At those times when I’m feeling a little less secure, I go shopping for something up-to-date but age appropriate. So with you, CorpDaycare, on the issue of 50-somethings dressing like teenagers: I don’t want to see it, so I’m guessing no one else does, either!
I’m jealous. Almost there. Okay, I’m not.
And I’m sure you look great and stylish. Great nieces. Love good girls like that.
Good list, forwarded it on to my Mother who is on the hunt for a job!
awesome!
Good suggestions, but I’d avoid the goatee (for guys – ladies, if you can do it, the interviewer will certainly remember you). Goatees are the pony-tail of whatever decade we’re in.
OMG, facial hair and long hair on guys is NOT MY FAVORITE.
http://thecynicalgirl.com/men-long-hair/
Goatee = “face mullet.”
I haven’t seen my natural hair color since my 20′s since I went grey very young, and I fully plan on having hair of an unnatural shade when I’m in my 70′s just because I can.
But, at my current age, I will NEVER go back to the box. I didn’t realize now unnatural it looked until the girl who does my hair finally convinced me to let her do it with real, grown-up color. Plus, the boxed stuff fries the crap out of your hair. And you can be damn sure that Beyonce (or any other celebrity spokesmodel) doesn’t use that since all celebs with fab hair buy it from 12 year-olds in India or Eastern Europe. So gross.
We recently hired a 60 year-old marketing staffer. Because of her personality! It’s aaaallll about that. (Well, and her mad skills, of course.) She was far and away our best candidate over all the younger people we interviewed because of her ability to communicate an interact with those interviewing her. She was confident and outgoing without being annoying. She has her own style (including a great haircut!) and doesn’t try to pretend she’s 20 years younger.
I love this story. Optimistic AND touches on my biggest pet peeve: fake hair on celebrities. Let’s all admit that hair doesn’t grow big and long and beautiful when you bleach your locks and you’re a coke addict.
Dang Laurie, why’d you have to go in on the turtleneck yo? LOL, I’m younger & I never realized it dated you or that it was seen a way to hide old necks. Granted, Steve Jobs has probably played a huge part in killing its appeal.
The rules are different for men, but I will say that I’m not a fan of his turtleneck.
I invested in a stylist. For $100 she went through my closet, had me ditch half of my wardrobe, and recommended colors, fabrics, and certain styles that are flattering. I was transitioning from consulting to working in an ad agency and wanted to look like a rock star creative. She saved me hundreds of dollars! She recommended stores and accessories. So I would say if you’re serious about revamping your look, invest in a session with a stylist. Have your friends pitch in as a holiday gift if you don’t have the funds.
I love this idea!
I went back to my natural haircolor several years back, and I get pressure all the time from other women to dye my hair. I am not bothered by the abundance of white streaks, and the texture is still great — so what’s the big deal?
You can find cheap, but stylish and even “name brand” clothes at great second-time-around shops. Try on EVERYTHING – it’s fit not size! and you can pick up some great and stylish clothing.
OK, here’s my advice for men, especially the thing about goatees…..when you’re older, your neck and jaw line lose some of the definition you had when you were younger. A goatee only draws attention to that double chin or saggy neck, guys. And when your facial hair is grey, it just looks scraggly, like you’re homeless or something. Especially when it doesn’t match that newly dyed hair you went to the trouble of getting done professionally. Yuck.
Ask your stylist to clean up everything from the neck up, including getting your eyebrows trimmed AND waxed every 4-6 weeks or so. But figure out how to do your own nose since no one wants to do that for you, and no one wants to look at it either. And take the time to look in the mirror once a day with your glasses on so you can actually see what’s going on with facial hair that doesn’t belong there!
You’re not primping, your’re just triming the hedges so they look nice with the lawn.
My mom is a baby boomer who is considering throwing herself back into the job market after 20 yrs of not quite happy at her current job. She is also “stylin”, always well dressed and has been seeing a colorist since she went gray in her late 20′s. My only advise to her has been to not put anything on her resume prior to 1984 to give the impression that maybe she is closer to 40 than 60 (she looks like 40!). Now if she could only overcome her fear of rejection maybe she can get her butt in gear
I agree her resume should be about her abilities. I kept an employment history sheet separate from my resume. and added it or brought it to the interview and even then did not bring it out unnessarily. I have had to go back to work after my husband passed away at 49 from cancer. Sounds like your Mom has a great kid to bounce ideas off of!!
Thanks for the comment on hair… I did start coloring it only because I did it before and have a great hairdresser that EXPLAINED EVERYTHING about it. So once every 6 weeks I get a great cut and color. And I did do it while unemployed. I also picked up job experience volunteering doing what I do. I volunteered at the local Children’s Hospital as a clerical and earned a referral. This weekend I am a bell ringer for another volunteer organization. I felt that employers would not think I was serious about a job unless I was working in some capacity! I now have a temp to hire and am working hard and happy to have the position.
If you do color your hair, be sure to keep up with the roots. That gray skunk stripe down the middle of your head will make you look older than a full head of gray hair does.
If you decide to color your hair have it done professionally and let the stylist know that your aim is to ensure you don’t look older than you have to – they can make sure your cut is updated and take care of the color right.
Personal example, my husband, age 48 is prematurely 100% dull gray – when he was laid-off earlier this year I carefully suggested he talk to his excellent stylist about helping his hair make him look his age instead of 10-15 years older than he really is. Very gradual, foils over three haircut cycles and he looked mid-forties again! He also got the job! and now has gradually been going back to his natural gray without root problems to deal with because of how professionally his color change was managed.
How about not having your birth year in your email address?
By 2050, the group of people aged 80 and more will be the most important in the US. I guess the discrimination will then move towards younger people, so they will probably all have to dye their hair white.
All of these are wonderful suggestions. I do have a background in the fashion industry and I completely agree with avoiding hair color. Nothing looks worse than roots and bad coloring. The problem with coloring hair even professionally, is that the hair dresser has an interest in having your return for repeated touch ups. Job seekers can rarely afford the additional expense. Nothing looks worse than hair that is too dark or some of the awful shades of red that hairdressers try to force on women.
I am 67 with gray hair and I have never felt discrimination in a job interview because of my age. I always wear a designer suit and yes, many I have purchased from resale shops for a fraction of their original cost. The better you dress, with attractive shoes and make up, the more seriously you will be considered for the job. I usually find myself better dressed than my interviewer and I have always been treated with respect. I have shoulder length hair in a trendy style which conveys the message that I am aware of style and fashion trends. So spend your money on a great haircut and style rather than the color.
Another suggestion for women is to update your make up for a younger look. Upscale cosmetics counters will help you with a professional make over for free. Note how you new look was achieved and the colors and techniques that were used. You can then shop the drug stores for cheaper comparable products. Every supermodel has some drug store products in her make up case.
Remember: Grey hair for women is a very classy and stylish; it has become a fashion statement (Remember Meryl Streep in Devil wears Prada)
One thing I did in case of having to look for a new job (I’m currently employed, but you never know) was to invest in some new, stylish (not fashionable–big difference) clothing and shoes: a few good bags, shoes, and some wardrobe staples. I used a few discount boutique sites (Hautelook, RueLaLa, Editors Closet, etc.) to save money. I also got a very nice, once-a-month upkeep hair cut. I also dropped a few pounds; that spare tire around the middle does nothing to help one compete with the 30-somethings who hit the gym daily.
When a friend asked me why I was doing all that, I explained that it’s a lot easier to have a wardrobe already in place BEFORE you have to hunt for a job than to have to throw one together w/o knowing where your next paycheck will come from.
Another option for developing a personal style is to make an appointment with a personal shopper at a large department store (think Macy’s). The personal shopper can work within your budget and pull together things that look perfect for you (as well as push you out of your comfort zone into something fabulous and modern). While some personal shoppers do charge by the hour, you may be able to find a mall or department store that offers free personal shoppers.
Nothing says “oy, I’m getting old” more than a stooped posture. One trick is to always make sure your thumbs are facing forward when you walk…this ensures your shoulders are rolled back and helps straighten your back. Also, envision an invisible string pulling the top of your head when you stand, as this keeps you from slumping, also.
Thank you for recommending to have your hair colored by a professional, to dress more contemporary, to lose the ‘grandma/grandpa’ shoes and to project confidence! Remember, many Boomers are competing with Gen X and Gen Y … Looking and presenting your personal best is as important as your experience and accomplishments.
I’m 59 and out of work. I do not look my age. In fact people have taken my 40 yr old son for my boyfriend. The woman who has cut my hair for years does a great job on my natural auburn thick locks. Any coloring tends to make that washed out beige redheads tend to get look like highlights. Amen. You can get great, comfortable, stylish shoes at K-mart. And they carry the wide widths. So what’s my problem? Try finding some age appropiate clothing in 6/8 petite. My unemployment insurance barely covers the necessities, never mind going to a regular store to shop. Plus the last time I did, the “older” styled clothes in my size looked downright dowdy. I went to 3 Goodwills recently and put together 4 great looking outfits that can be mixed and matched.
I have to disagree with you Laurie about wearing fake hair. Celebrities do it or have done it all before it’s popularity lately. It’s nothing new. Stars and entertainers do it to change their looks and because they are in show business.
Where do you think the hair comes from toupees? I have worn extensions, braids, and weaves for years. I have thin hair, can’t hold a style and it goes limp in the summer. I am 56 years old and look 40, because I have a certain look and appeal about myself. No, I don’t dress like I’m 20, which I think ages you, but I love colors. My hair is my mane and if my hair don’t look good, I don’t feel or look good and not on my game. So people that suffers from alopecia need something to cover their bald spot, and women don’t have the luxury of shaving their hair, well maybe some but not all.
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