DO I LOOK LIKE I'M NEGOTIATING?

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Having experience with Monsanto and living in the state that brought you the Ford Pinto, I felt compelled to see the movie Michael Clayton.

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This movie hit all of my liberal, conscientious hot buttons. Have you ever wondered if corporations hire people to clean up messes and get their executives out of trouble? They do. How do I know this? I just know shit. Trust me.

George Clooney movies are best known for the dialogue, the solid acting, and Brad Pitt. This movie gets 66% right and is totally worth the price of admission. The one thing I really liked about the movie was GEORGE CLOONEY LOOKING HOT. I also liked GEORGE CLOONEY LOOKING HOT and delivering really good lines.

  • Security Guard: Who the fuck are you?
  • George Clooney (looking hot): I am Shiva, the god of death.

The only thing that would have made the movie better? George Clooney making out with J.Lo.

[youtube youtube.com

Oh man. I love you, George. George. Sigh. Oh man. You are so awesome.

Wait, what am I writing about?

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