Dream Job: Not Human Resources

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If I had to pick a dream job, it would not be the VP of Human Resources for [insert company here]. While that job might pay a decent salary, I wouldn’t enjoy it. (Not that anyone is offering me that kind of opportunity.)

My dream job? I want to be a bacon connoisseur. I would start by doing research at Wendy’s with The Baconater and then move on to Vosges Chocolate with the Bacon Chocolate Bar. Then I would go to Spain and eat the world’s healthiest and most expensive bacon.

My second dream job is to be a potato connoisseur, but only if I can get some bacon-action. Also, I’d have to fight Kate for that role. It would be ugly unless we could find a way to job-share. (I’ll eat potatoes M-W-F and she can have potatoes on Tuesday & Thursday.)

If I can’t have those awesome jobs, I suppose that I can work at Starbucks and try to create the perfect bacon & coffee drink.

Wow. Someone, and I’m not saying who, has bacon on the mind. Is there anyone out there in my social networking circle who can hook me up with a bacon-related job? Anyone on Facebook? Anyone? Bueller?

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