Easter, Atheists & Work


Human Resources is tasked with enforcing the war on religious holidays — or so it must seem to countless employees who come into my office on an annual basis and ask me why Good Friday isn’t a holiday, or why Good Friday is a holiday in our office but has been renamed Spring Holiday, etc.

Didn’t we just cover this at Christmas?

When I tell people that I’m a prime example of Corporate America’s religious tolerance — I’m an atheist, but I like to get paid for the day off and I don’t care what it’s called — they look at me as if I’m retarded. First they assume that I was raised Jewish; then they assume I had a bad experience at Catholic school; and they finally rest on the belief that I had a bad childhood experience with god and that my atheism is a phase.

The only phase I’m going through is adultlescence. Other than that, I’m comfortable with my beliefs.

Your beliefs, on the other hand, really bug me. Quit believing that you can come into my office and accuse the company, and fellow employees, of religious intolerance. The mere fact that I accepted your Outlook invitation demonstrates my willingness to engage in a conversation about a global phenomenon (Christianity) that — at my core — I feel is based on superstitions, basic human psychology, and manipulated translations of old stories and myths.

War on Easter? How about a war on Atheism?!

Sigh, that’s okay. This atheist is going to enjoy Easter, too. I can’t get enough of Peeps and Dove Dark Chocolate eggs.

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