Employment Falls for Second Month

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Being in a recession is akin to being pregnant. You can’t just be a “little” in recession, which is why George Bush’s statement that the economy has slowed is total nonsense.

The economy has slowed?

Apparently, Bush thinks I’m an idiot.

No one likes to talk about a recession — and as Americans, we reserve the right to deal with problems (such as crumbling infrastructure, illegal immigration, and failing schools) when it’s too late. Bush’s comments on the state of our economy remind me of girls in high school who miss their periods and say things like, “It’s just late, that’s all. I’m always irregular. It will come tomorrow.”

Yup, there’s always tomorrow. Hey, while we’re being optimistic, your menstrual period will be here just in time for Bush’s economic stimulus plan to help our economy grow in 3Q08. Hopefully you can use that stimulus check to pay for the expenses related to your new baby!

Welcome to the recession, Suckers. Get comfy. We’ll be here for a little while.

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