Family-Friendly Work Policies


I’m fully supportive of family-friendly work environments, but I would also like to lobby for reality-based environments.

  • You don’t need 36 pictures of your children in the office.
  • That cold you brought to the office because your kid doesn’t wash his hands? Thanks.
  • You think your child is gifted? You should see my cat, Emma. (In fact, let me spend forty-five minutes talking about her!)
  • I know you want me to believe that my life will change for the better if I have kids, but I know it won’t. Can we talk about something else? Like work, maybe?!
  • If you need to leave early to take your child to the doctor, just go. Don’t tell me about it.
  • If you need to leave early for your child’s recital, just go. Don’t tell me about that, either.
  • Your kid’s art project? Not that good.
  • Your kid lost his first tooth? Great. Talk to me in ten years after the first arrest & conviction.

This HR chick woke up on the wrong side of the crib, obviously. (I want my bottle — of vodka!)

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