Fell Off the Wagon


I just ordered a refurbished Blackberry Pearl and the husband is rolling his eyes. It’s the same look he gave me when I test drove an Audi A4 convertible and the same look he gave me when I said that I wanted botox in my armpits because I sweat too much. (Punk rockers sweat, but not this much.)

“I’m a businesswoman,” I told him. “I need a blackberry.”


Now that I placed the order, I’m rolling my eyes in retrospect. It’s just that I must have a phone + a calendar + text options + unlimited wireless internet + the ability to send hateful, spiteful emails to my enemies while sipping pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks.

Oh wait, I’m not employed. I’ll just sip the pumpkin spice latte and skip the hateful email messages.


I just find that the absence of a blackberry from my life (and an unlimited wireless plan paid for by my previous employer!) means that I’m wasting time doing stupid things like reading, enjoying nature, and exercising. I’m going through withdrawal, and I need to feed the addiction.

Now that the blackberry is on order, I can rest easily. I will once again enjoy nature while texting people who are really working. I can mock them and write things like, “Here I am, enjoying nature & shit while you’re working.”

Also, I can finally start to figure out what the hell I’m supposed to be doing on Facebook besides playing the Rock, Paper, Scissors application.

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