F@%k It Friday: Speeding Tickets

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Here we are. Friday. Finally. I can’t take much more of this career advice. I might just die of boredom. Let’s talk about speeding tickets.

This might have something to do with the fact that my mom is a retired cop, but I’ve never had a speeding ticket. I have been pulled over plenty of times, but I talk the officer out of the ticket.

Wait, I am mistaken. I haven’t been pulled over in 5+ years because I am the world’s slowest driver. Where am I going? Where do I need to be? I’m on Laurie-time and I’m in no rush.

Yes, I’m driving five miles under the speed limit in the left lane. Get off my ass, chumpster.

What’s your driving record like? Do you have a lead foot? Are you a slowpoke?

Let me know, yo.

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