F@%K It Friday: Lucky Charms

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photo(5)Did you ever carry a rabbit’s foot?

So gross.

Late last year, I went to San Francisco and found myself in a small store in Chinatown. I was buying postcards. The lady in the store asked about my birthday. She then proceeded to tell me that, as a wood tiger who was born in the middle of the day, I would have a very interesting but emotionally tumultuous life. I would feel great love and great pain. People would always ask me for money. And that the year of the snake is a bad one for me. I should protect my knees and refrain from sleeping with my head at the northeast corner of my bedroom.

I was like, “Lady, I just want to buy these postcards.”

But the shopkeeper insisted that I leave with two lucky charms — for free — to protect me from financial insecurity in 2013.

“You will not make a lot of money in 2013. You need this.”

So I stuck the charms in my wallet. They are there right now. And guess what? I haven’t made a ton of money in 2013. This has been an emotionally turbulent year. And I do sleep with my head at the northeast corner of my bedroom.

God damn lady is in my head!

So I wonder — do you carry around and good luck charms? Any items or devices in your life meant to protect you? Or am I the only freak around here?

I can’t wait for 2014. That is a better year for wood tigers like me!

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