F@%k It Friday: Home Ownership

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I have an unfinished basement with 11′ ceilings. We keep talking about finishing it. It’s on a list of things to do that includes new landscaping, a finished attic and someone to come and paint the rest of my house.

And I want a pony.

Home ownership is a fabulous honor but — like much of adulthood — it’s also a scam. If it’s not one thing, it’s a water heater. Or a tax bill. Or ugly wallpaper that needs to be replaced. I get a ton of catalogs that try to spur additional spending in my house such as West Elm, Pottery Barn, and Adam & Eve. At the end of the month, I always wonder where my money has gone.

My next house will be concrete and stainless steel. I’m not joking.

Except now I want to finish my basement because Scrubby is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the hell in the rafters and has to do an amazing Spider-Man move to get down.

Check out this video.

This is the beam he sticks. It’s about 4″ wide. Unfuckingbelievable skills for such a stupid cat.

Scrubby is pretty impressive but Ken is building him some steps before he kills himself.

Do you own a home? What’s on your repair list? Do you dream about owning a home? What’s your dream home like? Do you dream of having a cat jungle gym in your basement like my house?

#jesus

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