F@%K It Friday: Birthdays and Friendships


Happy Birthday

Today is my sister-in-law’s birthday. That’s not the point of this post — although she is fabulous. I wanted to tell you that I’ve ended some friendships over missed birthday greetings.


I figure — there is one day each year that I’m glad you are alive. If you are my real friend, I will remember your special day. If I miss it, I will apologize profusely and make it up to you. Stuff happens. And I expect you to do the same.

But last year, two ‘friends’ forgot my birthday. One of them said, “I changed jobs. It’s not in my new calendar.”

No apology. No act of contrition. So I didn’t respond and we haven’t talked since. I guess we weren’t really friends. Hmm.

Another person said, “How am I supposed to keep up with your birthday if we’re not connected on Facebook?”

I thought, yikes, my face hurts. Did you just punch me? I’ve known you for seven years and you need Facebook to tell you when I’m born?

And as a side note: have my friendships come to this? You can wish a total stranger on the internet a happy birthday but not me? So we haven’t really talked since because we are not connected on Facebook, I guess.


I read an article called Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? (Did you see it? Go read it.) Most adult friendships are not really friendships. What’s worse is that I don’t have a way to test the authenticity of a relationship so I ask myself: Do you acknowledge the day I was born?

If you do, that’s a good start. We might be friends.

It may not be the perfect barometer of a friendship, but I don’t have another one. Do you?

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