F@$k It Friday: The Lottery


The guy who won the ginormous lottery owed $30,000 in back child support. What a dick. Why does it always feel like lottery winners don’t deserve it?

If I won $338MM, here’s how I would spend it.

  1. I would fund one abortion clinic in every state. This is not a joke. This is important.
  2. I would donate to local, state and federal politicians who support mandatory spay-neuter legislation in America.
  3. I would work on anti-hunger programs.
  4. I would have weekly massages.
  5. I would send some of my younger relatives to college.
  6. I would not tell anyone I won.

Maybe I did hit the jackpot. You’d never know.

How would you spend your lottery jackpot?

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