F@%k It Friday: Littering

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Don't Kill Me With Your LitterI don’t go ape shit for much but I hate people who litter.

When you litter, you tell the world that you are an idiot who doesn’t have any sense of empathy. When you litter, you are rude. When you litter, you kill harmless animals.

Yes you do.

Your food waste attracts animals to the side of the road. Those animals eat your sammich, stumble out onto the road with a fully belly, and are (accidentally) struck by passing cars.

I don’t want to accidentally kill squirrels. I don’t want to see dead raccoons. This is your fault. Killers.

But seriously, littering is just so stupid. And lazy. And I think it’s on the uptick. I saw two young girls throw a banana peel out of their car window. Neither girl was wearing a seat belt. One of them was on the phone. They were both smoking. So I tailgated these chicks for a mile and then I sped up, got in front of them, and slowed down.

Yes I did.

I road-raged on littering chicks.

You might say — at least they were eating fruit, right?

NO FUCK YOU LITTERERS. YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR THOUGHTLESSNESS.

Okay, maybe that was an extreme reaction — but we cannot be friends if you litter. You should be forced to work on a chain gang and clean up other people’s garbage.

Don’t make me be the bad guy, people. Dispose of your rubbish in the proper containers.

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