F@%k It Friday: Camping

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It’s Memorial Day Weekend here in the United States. I am sure many of you have awesome plans that include the beach, nature, and camping. I haven’t been camping since Memorial Day(-ish) 1982. My parents were married. We drove down to Florida with a pop-up RV and camped at the Disney World campgrounds.

I saw an armadillo.

Epcot wasn’t even open.

That’s not camping, right?

You know who camps for real? Hippies. Homeless people. Refugees awaiting the right of return.

Camping is not romantic. The food is never good. If I want s’mores, I can make them in my kitchen and there are fewer ants.

I’ve never fished, either. I like the outdoors just fine. I like fresh air. I love animals — birds, deer, blah blah blah. I live right next to a gorgeous state park so I can enjoy nature from a distance.

But I like to pretend that this is 2011 and humans sleep in beds.

What am I missing? Why does anyone camp?

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