It’s not easy because most of the time I want to punch someone in the face and say I AM FORGIVING YOU RIGHT NOW SO PLEASE SHOW A LITTLE MORE GRATITUDE ASSHOLE.
Doesn’t work that way.
It is especially hard for me to offer grace and forgiveness to people who ought to know better. Ugh. So frustrating. But if I didn’t afford grace and forgiveness to the people I know and have worked with over the years, I would never get anything done.
Years ago, I had to help shutter a family-business-turned-behemoth that was run into the ground by poor business decisions based on a religion. It was a cult-like environment. Poor choices based on faith & family impacted hundreds of people.
I was so disgusted by the behaviors that I told my boss that I could no longer help to unwind the book business. I objected to the religion and I couldn’t stand the remaining employees who still wanted to interject faith into the discussion. I couldn’t shut my mouth. I had to say something.
He said, “You can’t blame people for their faith.”
I said, “Yes I can. I can blame adults for their poor choices. They’re not victims.”
He said, “I’m not paying you for your religious insights. Get over it.”
Hm. Right. Okay. I needed the paycheck and took a breath. Then I offered a little grace and tried to do my job with integrity and poise. What else could I do? If these people were right about faith, their god would judge ’em for being such awful people. And maybe they would burn in hell. I dunno. Not for me to say. I had a job to do.
Grace and forgiveness are the only way to go even if the recipients are too stupid to appreciate it. This applies to family members, friends — and the cadre of birthers, truthers, and anti-vaccine advocates in the workforce. I’ve worked with plenty of adults who should know better but still act like morons.
“There is plenty of research out there to show that vaccinating your kids is dangerous and causes Autism.”
No there’s not. And just because research may exist doesn’t mean that it is valid or equal to the amazing amount of data out there that shows vaccines don’t cause Autism.
But if I hated every person in my life who engaged in arguments rooted in the fallacy of false equivalency — or any other logical fallacy — I’d never get anything done. I would just sit around and be pissed off.
That’s no way to live.
OH MY GOD I AM SO CHARITABLE.
Well, not really. I suck. But I do try to let things go and forgive. Silently. I may shake my head at that person and wonder what stupid genes they have passed on their kids, but I still try to see the good in most people — and get work done.
Oh you think vaccines are a tool of pharma companies to keep us sick? You haven’t seen Barack Obama’s birth certificate? You think Jews were told to stay home on 9/11? You didn’t see the plane hit the Pentagon?
Instead of giving these people the middle finger, I really do try to forgive ’em. I try not to wear it on my sleeve, either. Grace and forgiveness worn around your neck isn’t really grace or forgiveness. It is martyrdom. And nobody likes a martyr.
But listen, truthers and anti-vaccine advocates…
…don’t push it.