Housework, Errands, and Gender


Since I don’t have a real job, I do 99% of the housework and the errands. I would complain except my husband does 100% of the yardwork and the cooking and he provides health insurance.

I’m just going to shut up about it and write about the inequities of modern marriages in another post.

So here’s the story.

Yesterday, I went to the bird store because I bought a bag of seed that was moldy. This is totally unlike my bird store and they were super-awesome about the whole thing. I brought the bag to show them and they were like, “No worries. Just throw the old bird seed away. Grab another bag and you can get a second one free.”


I put new bags in the trunk (with the old, moldy bag) and ran about 76 other errands. Then I came home, cleaned up around the house, and finally got around to feeding the birds. I went into the trunk of my car and found…


That’s right. Maggots.

After gagging about 46 times — even though there was no smell — I realized that the maggots were in the moldy bird food bag. And they were on the new bags of bird food.

I pulled everything out of my car — plastic trunk liner, other boxes, bags — and used the vacuum we have in the garage to decontaminate my entire car. Then I washed everything that was plastic. Then I thanked baby Jesus that I didn’t buy my new car, just yet, because I would have been super-pissed had this occurred in a nicer car.

And now I’m totally motivated to write my post on household labor, gender, and domestic chores because I am 100% sick and tired of crazy shit like this happening to me.

I need a wife.

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