Unfortunately, it wasn’t your office party. Thanks for the invite, though.
(Oh wait, that’s right, I wasn’t invited. Assholes!)
Just kidding. No hard feelings. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Pictures of the opting out of the rat race holiday party to follow shortly. I was the resident HR professional at the party and I was in full compliance of all policies and procedures.
PS – There’s a rumor going around that I may have been drunk. That’s a lie, damn you.