Iowa Caucus & Weather


I’m watching round-the-clock news coverage of the upcoming Iowa caucus and I’m dying from the amateurish reporting and stupid, personal commentary. For real. The media just kills me. Is it just me, or is there too much discussion about the weather in Iowa? Correspondents want to know whether or not the cold weather & blustery winds in the Midwest will impact the turnout for the caucuses.

I just want to scream and say, “Iowa isn’t New York City, assholes. People own practical winterproof clothing — including but not limited to winter coats, boots, and mittens. We also own these things called automobiles so we don’t have to walk everywhere. We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about turnout. Worry about sipping your hot chocolate and checking your Blackberry for the score of The Knicks game. PS – They’re probably losing.”

Don’t get me wrong — I strongly dislike much about the Midwest and I don’t care for Iowa in particular. The state doesn’t offer much and I lost $100 at a casino in Dubuque. I really resent taking sides in a media v. Iowa match, but media elitism bothers me enough to pick Iowa in that kind of fight.

Beyond my aggravation with the silly commentary on the weather, I also heard a reporter from The Washington Post tell a fellow reporter, “Des Moines is a hip city, surprisingly enough, and it’s not a bad place if you want a bite to eat.”

Jesus Christ. You mean to tell me that there’s more to Iowa than Dairy Queen and McDonalds?!


Maybe I need to watch less television, but I’m also impacted by the weather in the Midwest. We had six inches of snow, this week, and it looks like I’ll need to break into the bunker and live off my cans of franks & beans until the roads are clear in the spring.

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