James Carville is a Pussy (& Other Business Lessons)


The line between your growing job dissatisfaction and our knee-jerk reaction to terrorism is connected by a thread. Sadly enough, the thread looks like James Carville’s penis.


James Carville is a political operative who once worked for President Bill Clinton. He teaches college in New Orleans and is a paid political advisor for campaigns in Europe, Israel, and Afghanistan. If you haven’t heard, Carville appeared on a sports radio show and discussed airport security, body screening machines, and your right to privacy. Carville said, “What I want is, let me pay for something, give me a safe flyer card, and then y’know, go measure my penis and let me get on the airplane.”

I’d like to measure Carville’s penis but it’s impossible because he is a ginormous pussy.


Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities, and there’s no bigger atrocity than the wussification of the American spirit. Instead of being a country of fighters and patriots, we’re whiners and complainers. We don’t know how to fight back because our educational standards keep slipping due to the attack on public education that began during the Reagan administration by Bill Bennett. Instead of thinking critically, we engage in fake partisan battles on the internet and roll over out of fear when things get tough.

And make no mistake, people. Things are tough.

We’re faced with unparalleled challenges as Americans, we’ve sold our future to China via Walmart, and we face more and more threats to our security by religious zealots and all-around lunatics.

And here’s Carville talking about his penis. What are you, James? French?


What’s worse is that some of the best and the brightest advisors who write for regular joes — like you and me — blame you for not making the right kinds of choices in your life. As if you have a choice in the matter.

We never have honest discussions as Americans. If we did, we would talk about how the system is rigged. We are fooled into fighting over divisive cultural issues that aren’t all that divisive to anyone under 40, but we are never asked to weigh in on important issues like national security and foreign policy. We can’t get a fair shake and be involved in shaping our own economic destinies because the people in power have us arguing amongst ourselves over a smaller & smaller piece of the economic pie.

But no, really, it’s our fault.


We don’t need tort reform or term limits in this country. We need an entrepreneurial and electoral revolution. The change we seek won’t come from Obama, the GOP, or anyone on television who profits from the status quo. The revolution will come from you, and it will come when you stop fearing death by terrorism — or death by a thousand cuts from your health care costs — and you start acting like an adult who is competent, fearless, and has the ability to change things.

Can you run for political office? Can you donate your time to a cause that’s important to you? Can you just man up, please?

The day you offer to have your dick measured by a TSA airport screener who has no collective bargaining rights and earns $12.75/hr is the day you tell the world that you are a castrated and emasculated fool.

It’s also the day that America fails.

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