Kick HR to the Curb

by

You hate HR?

Me too.

Here are some simple ways to keep Human Resources outta your business.

  • Don’t say racist things.
  • Don’t be sexist.
  • Quit the homophobia.
  • Dress like an adult at the office—not a stripper.
  • Don’t smell.
  • Have some ethics.
  • When you hire someone, make sure that person is qualified.
  • Don’t hire unqualified relatives, friends, and mistresses.
  • Give your employees an opportunity to do something great.
  • When you go through an RFP process, don’t write the RFP so that the company hires your friends.
  • Don’t steal.
  • Don’t cheat.
  • Don’t underpay your employees.
  • Don’t overpay your executives.
  • When you recognize and reward employees, do it fairly.
  • Stop demanding mafia-like loyalty from your employees.
  • Don’t yell.
  • Don’t berate.
  • Shut up before someone punches you in the face.
  • Don’t punch anyone in the face.
  • Quit Facebook stalking people with the company’s computer.
  • Increase your emotional intelligence.
  • Learn that no means no — and don’t ask in the first place.
  • Work hard.
  • Be generous.
  • Listen.
  • Support.
  • Don’t expect more than you’re willing to give.
  • Assume good intent.
  • Don’t take advantage of people who assume good intent.
  • When you fail, admit it.
  • When someone fails, don’t go ballistic.
  • Spend money on a decent health care program.
  • Stop being a control freak.
  • Inspire.
  • Champion.
  • Be a decent human being.

Yeah. It’s pretty easy.

Go do it and kick HR to the curb.

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