List Of Things To Do On A Monday

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It is March 1st and you are still unemployed, underemployed, or otherwise cranky. I don’t know what to tell you. We have been on this road together since 2007, and life sucks. Hard.

I thought about what I could do to make you feel better — and I’m out of ideas. Off the top of my head, here is a list of things to do to distract yourself from the cold, crushing reality of your existence.

  • Eat carbs, fat, and sugar.
  • Organize your basement.
  • Clean your bathroom. Especially the toilet.
  • Sell stuff on eBay or Craig’s List.
  • Google ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.
  • Brush your dog. Comb your cats.
  • Dust your family room furniture.
  • Vacuum cobwebs from your light fixtures.
  • Throw out old jars of pickles from the fridge.
  • Toss those old VHS tapes. You will never convert them to DVD, and when you do, DVD will be outdated.
  • Start cleaning up your yard, walkway, or front porch by removing old leaves and winter debris.
  • Sit in a park.
  • Fold that pile of towels that’s been sitting on the bed in your spare bedroom.
  • Recycle those old magazines and catalogues in your house.
  • Scan important documents and send them to yourself.
  • Buy a pack of M&Ms and organize them: eat the red ones first, then the browns, then the greens, and save the blue for last.
  • Watch old TV shows on Hulu and think to yourself, “This isn’t as funny as I remember…”
  • Go to the library and take out some books. Read them.
  • Take a walk — but don’t break a sweat. You’re in no rush.

People, c’mon, help me. We need a sense of purpose on a Monday. Got anything else?

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