It is March 1st and you are still unemployed, underemployed, or otherwise cranky. I don’t know what to tell you. We have been on this road together since 2007, and life sucks. Hard.
I thought about what I could do to make you feel better — and I’m out of ideas. Off the top of my head, here is a list of things to do to distract yourself from the cold, crushing reality of your existence.
- Eat carbs, fat, and sugar.
- Organize your basement.
- Clean your bathroom. Especially the toilet.
- Sell stuff on eBay or Craig’s List.
- Google ex-boyfriends and girlfriends.
- Brush your dog. Comb your cats.
- Dust your family room furniture.
- Vacuum cobwebs from your light fixtures.
- Throw out old jars of pickles from the fridge.
- Toss those old VHS tapes. You will never convert them to DVD, and when you do, DVD will be outdated.
- Start cleaning up your yard, walkway, or front porch by removing old leaves and winter debris.
- Sit in a park.
- Fold that pile of towels that’s been sitting on the bed in your spare bedroom.
- Recycle those old magazines and catalogues in your house.
- Scan important documents and send them to yourself.
- Buy a pack of M&Ms and organize them: eat the red ones first, then the browns, then the greens, and save the blue for last.
- Watch old TV shows on Hulu and think to yourself, “This isn’t as funny as I remember…”
- Go to the library and take out some books. Read them.
- Take a walk — but don’t break a sweat. You’re in no rush.
People, c’mon, help me. We need a sense of purpose on a Monday. Got anything else?