I’m watching lots of NBA basketball, right now, because nothing else is on TV. I’m reminded of the time my former boss — a SVP of HR — made our entire department watch Do Right with Lou Holtz of Notre Dame.
Our boss was a dude in his mid 40s who hailed from the great state of Indiana. Our department was staffed with women from Chicago, ages 22 to 50, who talked about things like cats, food, and scrapbooking.
Many of you know this story, but I watched that video and openly objected to the idea that Lou Holtz could inspire us to do anything but barf in our mouths. I remember asking, “Isn’t this guy dead?”
He’s not.
Also, Lou Holtz has made a mint on the motivational speaker circuit by telling people to do the right thing and treat people well. It’s obscene. Seriously. It’s as if you paid me a ton of money to tell your employees to wipe their asses after taking a crap. They know to wipe their asses, right? They just need to be motivated. Pay me.
So I wonder — what’s the worst motivational experience you’ve had at work?
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For me it was a team-building ropes course. Outside. In the rain. And it was cold. The only thing any of us were motivated to do was go home, get dry, and get warm. Big waste of time and money.
I worked as a TA for a bit at the elementary level and they were trying to implement a new system called PYP (if i recall correctly). Anyway, alot of the teachers were against it because quite frankly- the training and preparation was quite shoddy and it would make certain posts redundant that were really quite essential. I remember at one staff meeting the Principal was really talking up the system and she basically said “We’re going ahead with this full steam so it’s either you’re on the train or you’re off” – I can tell you it certainly did nothing to motivate…
I’ve since left that place and I keep wondering what the deal is- of all the levels in that school the Elementary has the highest turnover every year and there’s ALOT of malcontent- and I saw her take bright, young, energetic, creative and motivated teachers and tear them down – it was excruciating…I wondered how she was allowed to still be around!
Since I’m self-employed I thankfully don’t have to deal with this crap, but your post reminded me of an experience a close friend had recently.
He manages a health club inside a hotel and, as a result, must endure the hotel’s corporate HR department, which in order to justify its existence schedules numerous bullshit meetings and creates such things as “The Guidance Team” that my friend and other outlet managers must be part of, which takes away from their true job functions and success.
Recently, HR got all of the managers together in a boardroom and asked them to draw pictures of what they think “honesty” and “loyalty” and a couple of other terms might look like.
My friend — entirely burned out and to the point of rebellion — blurted out sarcastically, crayon in hand: “Gee, I wish I would’ve known we were going to do this. My three-year-old daughter would’ve LOVED it.”
Apparently he heard nothing but crickets, but he didn’t care. Later, he said the GM of the organization was going around the table lauding people for their creations.
“Yes, exactly! That’s what honesty looks like and that’s what we’re going to strive for in this company.”
Oy.
I basically tell all new employees “don’t grabb-ass and don’t be a douche bag”, that is really all they need to know right? I would’t call it motivational though…
I was working as an RN at Yale-New Haven Hospital when the whole “Diversity-Cultural Sensitivity” mantra was all the rage. It was bad enough when an administrator, who rarely left his office, suddenly became the messiah of multiculturalism to a bunch of hard-working caregivers who sacrifice indiscrimantly day in and day out, but when they had token “people of color” come in….housekeepers, maintenance workers, volunteers…who ever they could find, to impart on us their wisdom and berate on for not being sensitive to others who may not share our work ethic…well, that was enough to blow my top off. While acceptance of cultural differences is important, they were not only preaching to the choir (a bunch of nurses) but were then attempting to use it to make excuses for poor work habits! This is the kind of cr*p that’s killing our country.
Personally, Bobby Knight is more inspirational than Lou Holtz. At least you get a real life experience of getting a chair in your face or getting slapped at.
I’m a university professor, and my school has a huge “welcome back” breakfast every fall for staff and faculty, with a series of tedious speeches by faculty union president, staff union president, academic senate president, local chamber of commerce rep, and culminating with a much longer speech by the university president. His (at my school, it’s always been a him) speech typically sets the tone for the school year. Two years ago, our president welcomed us back to to work, and then said, “of course, some of us have been working all summer.” Completely disrespectful of (a) the many professors who taught summer school; (b) the professors on 9-month contracts who work all summer WITHOUT PAY on research obligations in order to meet tenure and promotion obligations; and (c) those faculty who wanted summer work but weren’t offered it, as there aren’t enough summer courses to go around. Not to mention starting off a school year with an “us” and “them” (administration v. faculty) reference in the first sentence of your ‘welcome back’ speech.
The worst I’ve been through?? Can’t name them all but it basically is any type of “motivational” session that requires team building activities or role playing. Puke. I’d soon be strung up by my toenails.
In a previous work-life our entire team had to go to my boss’s house after work to watch “Seabiscuit.” Why? It’s about an underdog beating all expectations, and we were a small branch of a massive company in a down economy. It was the big kickoff moment for some new philosophy our corporate was unveiling. I cannot for the life of me remember what the philosphy was. I do remember thinking that the movie was the longest film I’d ever seen.
I had a boss that actually held a meeting call Bob’s Grievences(not his real name, changed to protect the innocent), where he aired his grievences with everyone on the team. This followed the meeting trumpeting our accomplishments. The mixed message was less than motiviating.
Holtz was a decent coach but listening to him reminds me of talking to people on public transportation. Certainly a nice person but you’ll never get the time back they spent talking about nonsense.
Lou Holtz was the speaker at my high school football banquet back when he was still with Arkansas. Lance is right. He’s like your grandmother’s next door neighbor that prattles on about something he’s seen on the magic picture box.
I work as a contractor so thank God, I never get invited to this bull crap. The most horrible teambuilding crap I’ve heard, people had to stand in a circle and put hands on the belly of the person standing before them! The purpose? To show that they are connected….
My favorite HR “motivation” story comes from father. As he tells it: Many years ago he’s sitting around a large conference table with his fellow office mates enduring a “team building” session with an outside HR consultant. The consultant doesn’t know anyone so she asks everyone to go around the table introduce themselves and then tell everyone something about themselves that no one knows. When they get to my Dad, he pauses, pulls out a card from his wallet (his dive certification card – a card no one would recognize) looks over at the one black man at the table (who was also his best friend) and proceeds to tell everyone that he is a card carrying member of the Klu Klux Klan. This of course leaves the HR consultant and the whole room speechless before he finally gives it the old: “just kidding!” The ole’ man had some balls, I’ll say that.
@Bev I have a story about a dude who broke his arm at one of those events. Ridiculous!
@Karen I hate that phrase. “Get on the bus. Get on the train. Get on the plane.” Lame.
@Rick Oy is right. What the hell kind of waste of time is that??
@HR_U It takes an awesome woman to use the term ‘grab ass.’ My father-in-law once used that term and it made me giggle for days.
@Daisycutter I love how diversity is always seen as color — and not ideas or opinions. Also, nurses are one of the most diverse groups of workers in America. Men, women, people of color, LGBT, etc. What a stupid program!
@Tracy Spoken like a true motivator!
@Elle Fully acceptable to punch this guy in the face. Seriously, what a thoughtless chump.
@HR Chick They are all lame!
@Susan Seabiscuit was the longest movie evah! Thanks but no thanks.
@HRPuf The airing of the grievances, eh? Love it.
@Lance Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaatlock. Those old men kill me.
@Robert Thanks for the confirmation.
@Rampancy I would never let a coworker put his/her hands on my belly. Creepy.
@Tim Holy crap. That’s outrageous.
I was assigned to coach a new team leader while working directly for her on a temporary basis. She was very receptive to the coaching and responded quite well most of the time. Then came the day where she proposed a radical workchange that she wanted us all to go carry out with our union teams, and when we talked about a strategy to get there, she said “No, do it today. Do you want to be working here tomorrow?”
I pulled in the Labor Relations manager to help her see how ridiculous her request was, but there were more than a couple of guys thinking they were through.
As a University of Michigan Alum (1998), I hate Lou Holtz and Notre Dame. I know – hate is a strong strong word. I try to not use it ever, but Lou Holtz….grrrr. He’s one of the worst dudes on ESPN. He is so pro-ND it is sick. Last year he predicted they’d lose one game. If someone has that clip, please post it somewhere. I thought Mark May was gonna lose his crap when Holtz made that “prediction.” Lou Holtz is an idiot. There. I said it again. Am I bitter b/c Michigan had their worst football season ever last year? Yeah. A bit. I’d never listen to a word that Lou Holtz said. Ever.
I actually threw up a bit in my mouth – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-NrPOMBKnw – when I saw the title of this post. Love you, Laurie!
With a smile on my face,
DJ Waldow
@djwaldow
@DJ I’m not surprised to hear that you hate Notre Dame. I’m glad the title of the post fooled you. I like to make you barf in yo’ mouth!!
@Tim G This is why I love being my own supervisor. I’m solely responsible for motivating myself and dealing with my own stupid ideas.
Here’s a story from the other side… and let me be clear, I am NOT a motivational speaker. I use the occasional 2×4 to make a point, sure, but that’s different.
I was working with a 100k+ person organization, and while talking to a group of 30 people, I saw the CFO walk by outside. I ran and grabbed him, and convinced him to spend 30 minutes with the group.
After he left, one of the participants challenged me: “That had nothing to do with what we are here to learn,” he complained.
To which I replied, “How often do you get a chance to have your questions answered by the corporate CFO? Who would you rather hear, him or me? Because I’m thinking, that was a better use your time then listening to me prattle on about listening skills.”
When the ratings came back, I got 29 awesomes and 1 major ding.
I guess it’s true what they say: you can’t win ‘em all.