Menstrual Synchrony and HR Ladies

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My husband and I have a new tradition. Every Saturday night, we try out one of the amazing Indian restaurants here in North Carolina. Lots of good Southern Indian vegetarian cuisine. And having Indian food every Saturday night gives us yet another opportunity to create ritual, tradition and conversation in our marriage.

Last week, I looked at Ken and said, “Oh man, I need to travel to San Francisco on Wednesday. This means I’ll probably get my period.”

What?

“Yeah, imma see a bunch of HR ladies. I’ll get my period. You know, syncing up and stuff.”

“That’s a myth, Laurie.”

I’m like, “What? No way. While you are a man of science, I know a thing or two about periods.”

Turns out he’s right. Dammit. Menstrual synchrony is a myth. There’s never been a successful study that demonstrates how a group of women with asynchronous periods come together and start flowing together at the same time and for the same duration; however, if you work with a group of women, there’s a chance that your period will overlap with another woman.

That’s math. Math is hard for chicks on the rag.

You know what else is a myth? That HR ladies get their periods AT ALL. Almost every HR lady I know is over the age of 45 and actively considering a hysterectomy, having a hysterectomy, or recovering from a hysterectomy.

That’s all they talk about. In fact, ‘HR lady talk’ looks a lot like this.

  1. Hysterectomies
  2. Designer versus Knock-Off Shoes
  3. Celebrity Gossip
  4. Poop
  5. Growing out your hair

Just ask anyone you know. It’s true.

“You wonder why HR ladies hate you, Laurie.”

No. No I do not. I speak the truth, dammit. I am dangerous like that.

But hear this now: menstrual synchrony in your office does not exist. The myth is debunked.

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