Fitness at Work: UR DOIN IT WRONG

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For the love of all things sugary, check your HR impulses at the Starbucks drive-thru and do not participate in National Health & Fitness Day on May 21st.

The National Association for Health & Fitness believes that a traditional exercise & calorie-reduction program will enhance the overall health and productivity of your organization.

I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but your fat employees are not responsible for making your company less competitive in the global market place.

These wellness programs are a waste of time and money. You can’t hand out a pedometer & an apple and expect your employees to feel great about their lives, their bodies, or their jobs.

Okay, let’s pretend that you want your employees to feel less stress in their lives, improve their self-esteem, and have increased stamina. How about this super-scientific set of solutions?

  • Don’t work them 80 hours/week,
  • give them a voice in the leadership of your organization,
  • and encourage them to have a life outside of their offices.

Take that money you would normally spend on crappy employee swag items — the pedometers, the t-shirts, the stress balls — and increase your training budget. Give your employees another personal day, increase the employer 401(k) match, or give everyone a 3.5% annual merit increase instead of 3%. Whatevs. You get the drift.

It’s not rocket science, folks. Invest your company’s profits in your workforce, and not in crappy dollar-store merchandise and gimmicky celebrations, and you’ll have a healthy and productive relationship with your employees.

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Side note: I’ll know an employer really appreciates my work when I’m given a coupon for a free Baskin Robbins Large Heath Bar Shake instead of a freakin’ pedometer.

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