New Feature: Jobs I Could Never Do


There is a long list of jobs that I could never do — not necessarily because I’m lazy (although that’s part of it), but because I’m unskilled and I have a low tolerance for blood & guts. Today I discovered that I could never be a nurse. No way. No how. Not now. Not ever.

  • You could try to offer me $1,000,000/year, a car with a driver, and twelve weeks of vacation.
  • You could offer me a television show and a prime-time special with Barbara Walters that goes along with my nursing duties.
  • You could even try to offer George Clooney as my personal assistant.

I wouldn’t take the job. I wouldn’t go as far as to allow you to take a second of my time — the time it would take for me to turn down the job.

Nursing requires patience, compassion, and a tolerance for the intolerable. Nursing requires strength of body and character. Nursing requires you to work with sick patients AND the stupid family members of sick people. Nursing demands that you resist the urge to throw up in your mouth when you see gross things.

Me? I have a gag reflex. I would take one look at something sick — a broken bone, a staph infection in an eye, a gangrenous foot flayed open — and I would sway & puke on myself.

Thank goodness for nurses. You aren’t paid enough, and you are awesome.

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