New Job: Full-Time, Unemployed, Demo Gamer

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I’ve decided that I want to be a full-time demo gamer.

That’s right. I want to visit the major retail stores during the holiday season (Best Buy, Target, Circuit City, etc.) and develop mad skills on the demo games. I might have to knock over some eight-year-olds to even get access to the demo consoles — but I’m willing to do it.

Then I’ll review the games and tell you — a regular schmo who has no idea how to kill a zombie in an art deco city — how to improve your shit on the Wii, the XBOX, and the PS3.

First, I have to work on my hand/eye coordination as evidenced by my recent outing to Best Buy. I was booed by an imaginary crowd for sucking on the drums during Suffragette City. (Wham, bam, thank you ma’am!)

And yes, there will be pictures of me killing terrorist for George Bush. Stay tuned!

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