I’ve never had a speeding ticket.
I have been pulled over dozens of times but I talk my way out of them by saying, “I don’t know if this will help me or hurt me, but my Mom is a Chicago cop.”
I was totally sweating buckets because I was driving up to Arlington, cruising along at 85 mph, and clocked by a trooper — but he pulled over the guy next to me. Sucker.
I was totally ready to use that line.
I know some of you are repeat offenders. Fess up. Who’s racked up the most moving violations?
PS — here’s the obligatory swag video to explain why I’m in Virginia.