I’m trying to speak at more conferences in 2011 and 2012 and I’m often asked, “Who is your biggest competition?”
I take the position of Google. My business strategy is not to compete. It’s a waste of time.
- There is no one like me who writes about career advice from my perspective — a failed HR professional with serious & substantial experience in her background.
- There is no one like me who gained this HR experience at such a young age and walked away from a pretty good career in order to blog.
- And there is no one like me who fails the way I fail. Nobody.
At the age of twenty-six, I stood on stage with the CEO and CFO of an insurance company and notified employees that their organization was being sold. It was a tough conversation. People were scared by the sudden change. Would benefits transfer seamlessly? How would bonuses be impacted? Would they still get paid on time?
I was asked when the new payroll system would be up and running. I replied, “I’ll let you know when it’s that time of the month for me.”
Yup.
I’ll let you know when it’s that time of the month. For me. When I’m flowing with a crimson flood of payroll uploads.
Good god. The room erupted with laughter.
But the good news? Tension was lifted. I laughed at myself and carried on. I misspoke. That’s life.
So I know that my total package is awesome, baby.
I am unique and wholly differentiated from anyone else in the marketplace. I know that I don’t have competition — and neither do you. Time spent obsessing about your mistakes and worrying about your competition is time that is taken away from being your best and learning from your mistakes.
Don’t get mired in the game. Take a risk and opt-out. Stop competing, stop focusing on what other people are doing, and join me in the winner’s circle of life.
Trust me. It’s awesome over here.
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What a stupid question to ask in the first place……
My answer? “my insecurites”
It is a stupid question and no one likes the answer. They want me to say, “Oh, it’s Kris Dunn or Penelope Trunk or blah blah blah.” And frankly, Kris is a waaaaaaaay smarter guy on HR issues. Penelope Trunk isn’t my competition because she’s not hauling herself around to HR conferences.
I really want to say, “This is blogging. If I’m competitive when it comes to blogging, I’m a loser.”
I’ve got an idea! You can say, “It’s TheHRD only problem is he swears far too much and is anonymous…so pick me!”
Or alternatively you could say. “That is the dumbest question ever, did you fall on your head as a child or do you work hard to be that stupid?”
I read your blog because I love what you say and how you say it (and whether I agree or not is a moot point because you make me think). But, I love to read your blog most because you freaking crack me up!
Thanks, Bev. That’s nice to read.
Excellent post, Laurie. I think you are absolutely right. People can replicate what you do, but they can not replicate the strategy, vision and experience behind it.
Oh, and thanks for making me almost spit up my coffee this morning. If I ruin this nice bluetooth keyboard because your blog is too funny, I’m billing you!
LOL, no probs.
People can replicate what you do, but they can not replicate the strategy, vision and experience behind it.
I wish job seekers would know this when they walk into an interview. So many of them worry about the competition and it’s nothing but a distraction.
We know, but we’re constantly being told taking your eye off the competition is a bad move, too. The HR and Hiring Managers on the other side of the process need a talking to, as well.
Getting a job is like learning a rain dance. You never really know if you did it right when it fails, and you can always say your toe was out of place or your posture was wrong or the drumbeat wasn’t even the whole time. The Great Spirit won’t talk to you so you can’t find out what you did wrong or even if you did do something wrong. Meanwhile your crops are dying and starvation is staring you in the face.
Laurie,
That is awesome. I think you make an excellent point, we all bring something different to the party and figuring out what it is and how to communicate it is key. Finding clients who “get” you is also key. If they don’t you can argue with them until you are blue in the face- guess who “wins”.
It is a lot like golf, I suck at it, but I play against me and I enjoy the aethestics of each course and each game.
I posted a blog about my dog a while back (I know you are a cat girl), but one one of the things your dog teaches you is everyday is the best day- they just go for it…
Hey, I like dogs. My oldest cat, Lucy, does not. So we’re dog free — but I agree that dogs live in the moment and can teach us quite a bit about life.
Hey…recommend reading The Art of Racing in the Rain…from a dog’s perspective that was captivating. Of course the recommendation comes after you have of course, read Laurie’s blog!
Laurie,
I second Bev – you do freakin’ crack us up! But I also really like the way you’re celebrating your fails and making each of them such wonderful teachable moments.
Yeah, we all compete with ourselves, and that’s the truest measurement we’ll ever have; that said, it is SUCH a great win when you push yourself past your own self-imposed boundaries.
I never used to push myself past my own boundaries and it was a pretty boring life. I made excuses for myself. I was happy with mediocrity.
In some ways, I’m still kinda like that — but trying new things and failing has made all the difference in my life during the past four years. I hope other people learn to take small risks, too.
“Time spent obsessing about your mistakes and worrying about your competition is time that is taken away from being your best and learning from your mistakes.”
That’s terrific advice. Can be easier said than done, though: comfy old mental habits are hard to break, and healthy new ones even harder to grow. Here are two resources who can help.
The first is Stever Robbins, author and podcaster a/k/a the “Get-It-Done-Guy.” He recently shared some great advice about changing habits: http://www.steverrobbins.com/blog/2011/01/establishing-a-new-habit/.
The second is Michael Bungay Stanier, author of Do More Great Work and “The Great Work Blog.” Also the producer of some surprisingly powerful little movies at Box of Crayons: http://www.boxofcrayonsmovies.com/.
I haven’t read Stever Robbins. Thanks for that link!
You make HR interesting.
Yeah — by not talking about it. Hahahahahahahha.
Glenda, I’m glad you read this blog.
Great advice — and so true! The minute we start focusing on competition versus focusing on striving for our personal bests is the moment we take our eye off the ball. It’s a whole lot easier to strike out that way. Sorry for the sports analogy — couldn’t help myself
LOL, from you? Sports analogies are fine!
As I think I’ve said before, Laurie, I read your blog because it’s original, it’s funny and it gives me hope for the HR profession. Have at it, girl! BTW, I see you are presenting at the national SHRM conference in Las Vegas in June. I’m totally bummed because I’m unlikely to be able to go this year. Maybe in ’12??
Hey, Kathy. Yes, I am presenting at SHRM. I’m all over. I wish more people would submit to speak at SHRM because god knows there are better speakers than me.
Mediocrity sucks. I wish more people would get this message of yours at a young age. Your blog is required reading in my MBA class this semester. Keep up the good work. Bret
Thanks, Bret. I wonder — who else are your students reading??? I want to follow good bloggers, too!
You are the only HR blog we follow. We also follow 6 more mainstream leadership bloggers – Wally Bock, Mary Jo Asmus, Art Petty, Dan McCarthy, Bob Sutton, and Paul Herbert. I’m picky, I don’t like fluffy bullshit.
Thanks, Bret. Great list. Here are the URLs for the bloggers that you mentioned – Wally Bock – http://blog.threestarleadership.com/ , Mary Jo Asmus – http://www.aspire-cs.com/ , Art Petty – http://artpetty.com/ , Dan McCarthy – http://www.greatleadershipbydan.com/ , Bob Sutton – http://bobsutton.typepad.com/ , Paul Hebert – http://www.i2i-align.com/ and here http://www.fistfuloftalent.com/paul_hebert/index.html
It has taken me a lot (L-O-T actually) of time to realize that I cannot compete with others. Then I start comparing, and finding all the ways I come up short, and make myself miserable worrying about what they have that I don’t, or how someone else is better than me.
Reading the things you’ve written is one of the factors that has brought me to that place of just doing the best I can, trying to improve myself, and not giving a whole lot of concern to what other people think of that. You would be shocked at the looks I get in this office when I say “I’m not going to be perfect, and I am going to make mistakes.” You’d think I was suggesting we burn the building down and have some sort of goat sacrifice ritual around the flames. It’s the learning from your mistakes part that throws people, I think.
Suffice to say, I’ve read Kris, I’ve read you, I’ve even read Penelope even though sometimes she makes me want to try and un-read what I’ve read. There’s no competition and I learn something from all of you. You’re just the other crazy cat lady, which I totally dig.
I feel bad about myself when I compete. Horrible. I get nasty. I get selfish. I get mean. And when I win, I am not happy. Maybe I never learned how to compete properly as a kid.
As far as I’m concerned, competition only really matters while playing Trivial Pursuit or Scrabble when one can rightfully and freely exclaim to loved ones, “In yer face!” And then everybody drinks wine.
Otherwise, competition leads to too much comparison, which then crashes me headfirst into Neuroticland. And I HATE being there. I’m never actually doing my best work while stuck there. Instead, I’m just convinced that have to keep proving my worth and, more importantly, expecting acknowledgment of my worth. Motivation that is solely based on avoiding feeling bad about myself is never a productive exercise.
Unless that avoidance involves shopping. For example, I will never go to H & M on a weekend when it’s full of 20-somethings. I really don’t need to catch site of my 40-something face in the mirror looking at the same clothes as girls half my age. But 10 am on a Tuesday is a GREAT time to go.
My in-laws play a mean game of pictionary. MEAN. They go for the jugular. It’s hilarious.
Also, I’m with you on the shopping.
I love your blog because you don’t use all the buzz words that other folks in the industry do. You tell it like it is and it’s refreshing. Every newsletter type thing I get in my email (SHRM, HRE Online, etc.) is the same stuff over and over again. The economy is showing signs of improvement, top performers are going to jump ship when it fully recovers, what are you doing for retention, aaaaahhhh!
God I hate HRE Online. Hahahahahahahaha, just kidding. They’re fine. But Bill Kutik could use a fresh writer or two over there.
I disagree that you’re not competing. There is finite space on conference agendas and in online media and there is more supply than demand. People aren’t typically looking for your unique traits because they aren’t sophisticated enough to think that deeply about what is appealing to them. They think in more general terms like “I want the best speaker for this group of people” or maybe “I want someone who will challenge our group of people.” Then they see you and maybe a few others and they end up going with one of you because they like what you’re doing in comparison to what everyone else is doing.
In short, differentiation isn’t the elimination of competition. It’s a way of coping with competition in a more successful way.
Now if you’re talking about how you challenge yourself or how you gauge your success, I think it can be healthy to avoid comparisons or competitors. Am I happy with what we’re doing? Are my customers happy with what we’re doing? Those are much more important than how you’re doing relative to competitors.
I don’t feel like I’m competing — because I usually win and get what I want.
I know the tide will turn, one day, and I’ll have to compete against some young HR chippie who thinks she has all the answers… and I’ll hate that bitch hard… but for now it just feels like shit just happens for all the right reasons. Not in a hippie way, though.
I have two kittens, a boy and a girl.
The girl is easygoing – affectionate, cute, cuddly, an awesome cat to have around.
The boy is just as cute, cuddly, affectionate, etc. but he’s hyper-competitive.
Toss out a handful of treats. Guess who’s first on the scene? Guess how fast he’s trying to grab it all?
We have to intervene all the time to make sure she gets her fair share of basic needs. She won’t compete, and without her brother that would be perfect. But with him around she’s lucky we’re there or she’d have starved by now and he would have it all.
This works almost the same way in the real world. Around every corner is someone who is thinking: “you lose = I win.” Ignoring them is just making their game easier to play. And there is no caretaker seeing to it you get your fair share despite him.
I hate competition but have learned the hard way that ignoring it is a fatal mistake.
That is a very healthy and great position to stand. I work to move into this stance, although I find myself mired in the “can you believe they are doing that” then my wife has to talk me off the ledge.
So following my own advice, my new do-something is to continue to push and stop allowing myself to be sucked into the vortex of bullshit.
You had me at cats, bacon and Morrissey. But I stay for the authenticity.
No one succeeds at their career or their calling by being a great version of someone else. You get that you being the best version of yourself is a strength.
@Indignant Jobseeker My Slick is like your girl kitty. She gets extra treats and fawned over because of her status as the matriarch and lack of competitiveness. Brewskie and I agree, her non-strategy is much better than his competitive strategy.
@Lance Haun “In short, differentiation isn’t the elimination of competition. It’s a way of coping with competition in a more successful way.” I like that. Those who differentiate themselves win the competition without even trying.
You never saw a more competitive career path than that of an artist. You think finding a job is hard? The “business of art” is set up to be one brutal competition after another. I don’t play. I follow the lead of Jonathan Fields (who was in the Career Summit) who encourages people to define their own market and make their own way.
I don’t enter art competitions. I don’t seek out dealers to represent me. I find people who like what I paint and to whom I like to sell my work, and I create my own relationships with them. I don’t wait for someone to bring in a customer into their gallery for me. I take my art to the customer and they end up buying it. They not only enjoy the artwork, they also have a conversation that they can share when people come into their home and ask about the artwork.
I am no Banksey. My work is unique and original, though, and you are not likely to find cheap knock-offs at Walmart. Some artists lament the knock-offs. I tell them do something no one else is doing and you don’t have to worry about that.
I am not hugely successful YET. But I am selling more artwork than most of my compadres. They ask me how I do it, and I tell them. But they are afraid to be themselves and continue to lean on the old unsuccessful ways of selling art. Sigh. My competition eliminates itself.
I am an old chick, Laurie. You won’t be worried about the young ones when they come along, because you will be doing something different then. Take them under your wing and applaud them when you get there.
That’s wonderful and I agree it’s a much “better” way to interact with the humans. After all, with us looking after them (well, most of us anyway), they’ll want for nothing in the end and there’s no real need to compete.
I was illustrating the danger of ignoring the competitive element. In the wild that strategy would not be successful. It certainly isn’t on the workplace. Some competitors will stop at nothing to see to it you’ll “lose” so they can “win.”
Let’s just say I have personal experience to back that wisdom – I’d rather not go into detail there.
The shoe will be on the other foot someday, and both will be stuck in your mouth.
I’m independant filmaker with a prior career for 15 years in retail store management and love what and the way you right. What you’ve written about change has been a inspiration for me. I hated HR issues in retail but realized how important they were-which meant delegating the details to an Ass’t while I personally made sure the bathroom and breakroom where spotless. If that’s done the “real” HR issues fall into place.
Now that I’m in film your blog not entertains me on my editing breaks, the comments of your readers make me feel connected to the outside world
My wife is a recruiter and she forwarded a few of your Blogs and now I’m telling her what you wrote today.
I don’t really like cats but have two that are VERY well housed, fed and treated. I’m a dog guy. Just sayin.
Long live The Clash!
Not to sound too stuck up – but … well….
I just give a blank stare and ignore the question.
Are there people who have done more than I have? Sure. Hmmm. Let’s see:
- Designed and Built 34 major distribution centers
- Managed distribution centers
- Took over failing operations – as a contractor and turned them around while management looked for the real manager
- Sliced operations costs by 15% 6 years running?
- Multiplied cash generation? Not Percentage gains – multiple gains?
But that stuff is just a brag list. There is always someone who can “top that one”.
But, has anyone come to you, Mr. or Ms. Executive or Business Owner, and said – “I am here to understand your dreams – to help you understand those dreams, to hear your screams and your nightmares and show you the way form that dark scary place to the light? Has any other consultant or coach asked you ‘I don’t want a penny until you have received your full rasher of bacon?’ When was the last time that someone came to you and said ‘Let me help you find your dream and achieve it’?”
Competition? What competition? There is no competition for what I do.
There’s an old song that goes:
…And so it’s true pride comes before a fall,
I’m telling you so that you won’t lose all.
You blog got me thinking. Why should we always think of what we lack? Why compare ourselves to others and think of them as our competition. We are all unique. We each have something to contribute. It is up to us to find out what it it is we can contribute and shall I say ….make the world a better place ?
Laurie, you always say it so well– straight and to the point & make me laugh in the process. You are spot on on this one– our only competition is ourselves, thanks for the reminder, i needed it today
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