human resources! career advice! cats! of course!

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This was my late 2012/early 2013 embarrassing HR conference jam, btw.

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Everyone is excited about the summer blockbusters like Iron Man 3 and Star Trek.

Me? I’m excited about The Bling Ring.

What do you want to see?

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I’m just back from SHRM Atlanta where I ate some cupcakes and talked to fellow nerds about recruiting, social media and the future of Human Resources.

You know what else people talked about? How to manage Millenials in the ever-changing workforce.

I like to pay attention to what’s said about Millennials because I have actually managed three generations in the workforce: Baby Boomers, Generation Jones and Generation Y. Not many of my peers can say this. And I know that what has been said about Generation Y (born 1982-2004) has been said about every white-collar worker since 1948, including me.

• They are coddled.
• Their diversity should be embraced.
• They want flexibility.
• They value benefits over salary.
• They want to be liked and accepted in a group environment.

While it’s true that a kid born in 1996 will never use a fax machine unless they are communicating with Sallie Mae about deferring their student loan repayments, I am not sure a new generation in the workforce changes the game of how you manage people.

It’s not like we manage people well in the first place, yo.

My favorite “Gen Y” writer thinks that much of this talk is garbage, too.

Replace the phrase “Gen Y” with any other protected class and you realize how ridiculous this is as a “best practice” for HR. #SHRMATL13

— Matt Charney (@mattcharney) April 30, 2013

I love it. Let’s try it.

• Puerto Ricans demand flexibility in the workforce.
• When you think black people people, think social and mobile.
• Asians: Confident. Connected. Open to Change.
• Muslims do not use Twitter in large numbers, but college-aged girls with disabilities show the greatest enthusiasm for the application.
• Native Americans want to work in a loose, collaborative environment without a ton of structure.
• The Irish want unlimited PTO.

[Wait, of course the Irish want unlimited PTO.]

Just because you have demographic data doesn’t mean the data is applicable, relevant or even appropriately interpreted by a bunch of Human Resources ladies at a conference. And just because people have evolving preferences and communication styles doesn’t mean that the concept of management changes all that much.

Manage for performance by setting clear goals and demonstrating empathy for your employees. Motivate your workers with a better with a mix of incentives — including a crazy concept called equal pay for equal work.

Right there? You’re ahead of the game.

Everything else you hear about managing Gen Y is sketchy mix of armchair philosophy and pop psychology.

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This blog is penance for my shoddy career in HR, and your pain and sadness cause sympathetic aches in my heart.

I looked for comfort on the internet. I found a quote from Saint Ignatius:

The safest and most suitable form of penance seems to be that which causes pain in the flesh but does not penetrate to the bones, that is, which causes suffering but not sickness.

That is exactly how I feel when I read your messages about work. I get it. Work is killing you. And it kills me when it kills you. I am really sorry.

But I still believe that a job is just a job. And I want you to take comfort in something I heard on NPR. I listened to a story called You Can’t See It, But You’ll Be A Different Person In 10 Years.

In short?

• Humans can’t predict their own futures.
• You can’t see yourself evolve past the place you are now.
• And you don’t have a clue about your future.

This story gave me hope about life, work and relationships.

Just because something feels broken doesn’t mean that it is really broken. Just because life is depressing doesn’t mean that it will be depressing forever.

• You took a shitty job to feed your family? Good for you. That job won’t last forever.
• Your evil nemesis at work is driving you nuts? That person might become your best friend.
• Does your career feel over? Are the best days behind you? It might just be beginning.

You have no idea.

I’m not an advice columnist, but if I were, I would tell you that you have no idea how your life will unfold. You may be 100% happier in a few years. You might have more friends and a more fulfilling career. You might meet someone new at work who will change your life.

You just can’t see it.

Before you write a letter about your evil coworker or your crummy boss, remember that the stakes have never been so low. That colleague you hate? You probably won’t remember that person’s name in a decade. That project that is sucking the life out of you? It doesn’t have to matter. In fact, it probably won’t.

In another ten years, you will probably have a whole different life with a whole different set of problems — good and bad.

I would start getting ready for the next decade of your life.

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