matt romneyLots of people have glommed on to the word “tool.” They use it to describe “douchey” guys.

(Look out, men. The late 80s have given way to the early 90s!)

So what makes someone a tool?

  • Do you refer to yourself in the third person?
  • Do you answer a question with a sarcastic question?
  • Do you quote thought leaders with the hope that people will think you’re a thought leader?
  • Have you ever had more than a five minute conversation about your new TV?
  • Do you post selfies but make fun of other people who post selfies?
  • Do you use a sports metaphor to describe everything you do?
  • Is your jewelry collection larger than a ring and a watch?
  • Do you use more than one bottle of hair product?
  • Do you wear Uggs outside the house?
  • Do you want to teach me something?
  • Do you buy your own hype?

(Now that I am reading my own list, I realize that I might be a fucking tool.)

I don’t know the parameters of healthy masculinity, and cultural differences mean that a really great guy in Barcelona or London or Melbourne might be a fucking tool in America.

(Like those guys who were singing rugby songs at my favorite bar in New York. Fuckers. Nobody wants to hear your weird, lame chants.)

But somewhere between Richie Incognito, Marc Anthony, Kanye West, Adam Levine and — at on other end — Ron Swanson or Ray Lewis is a decent path for most men to follow.

I hope some of you find a good male role model before it’s too late.

Scooby-gang-1969It’s almost 2014 and people are still asking me if they should start a blog.

The answer is no.

If you want to blog, find a successful site that has traffic. Find the editor. Ask her if you can contribute a post. Write something. See if it’s any good. Get feedback. If it turns out well and you enjoyed the process, do it again. If you work in human resources or you are a vendor, reach out to the editors of FistfulofTalent.comPerformanceicreate.com or TLNT.com for guidance. If you work in a different field, consider yourself lucky.

Will blogging help me sell stuff? Yes, but not directly. My friend Josh Bersin owned a company that he sold to Deloitte. He isn’t writing much original content for Deloitte, though. He uses his stature to blog for free on Forbes and LinkedIn while his own company’s website is littered with boring stuff. (Sorry to use you as an example, Josh.) Blogging is not a direct path to sales, but the great lie in life is that there is one direct path to sales.

Will blogging help me find a job? Probably not. Your article will come up when a recruiter conducts a potentially illegal Google search to understand your internet presence; however, unless the blog post is stellar and has a ton of comments, it might make you look like you have nothing better to do than blog.

Will writing a blog teach me something? Yeah, it will probably teach you that the internet can be an empty place that doesn’t offer much validation. It’s nice to see your name on a website, but nothing saps the fun out of the internet faster than trolls and perverts. It’s very common for anonymous readers to share misinformed opinions and say cruel things, and if your writing isn’t concise, people you know and love may misread what you’ve written and become offended. It’s not worth the hassle.

Why do you still blog, Laurie? Nobody asks me that question, but I will give you my answer: I am a character caught up in a hackneyed Scooby-Doo! Mystery Adventure. I will stop writing when I unmask the monster.

So if you want to write, you should be a writer. But you should be a smart businessperson, too. Do your research. Find eyeballs. Tap into an existing audience. Think about an integrated digital marketing plan.

And good luck finding your voice!

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I thought the James Franco version was funny … but it’s actually genius when played side-by-side with the original video.

Jesus wept.

1349839696000Hello, everyone. Happy Sunday. It’s World AIDS Day.

I grew up in the 80s and didn’t quite realize the impact of HIV/AIDS on any community, let alone the LGBT community, because I was too busy playing with Barbies and listening to Duran Duran.

Now that I am older and more knowledgeable, the 80s make more sense. Sorta.

You don’t need to wear a ribbon. You don’t need to act up. But you should do some reading.

  1. What Young Gay Men Don’t Know About AIDS via The New Yorker
  2. Putting the Health of Young Mothers First: Key to Stopping AIDS via The Huffington Post
  3. We Can End AIDS Without a Cure via Slate

Hope you had a good week. Stay safe and make good choices.

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