Paths to Wellness and Weight Loss: Kill The Snooze Button

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Mid-1970s digital alarm clock radio (AM/FM) us...

Years ago, I met with a fitness consultant who was employed by a very prestigious university. My company hired him to speak to a group of employees who had high risk factors and were borderline diabetic.

At first, he wasn’t so bad.

This guy believed that PepsiCo and Coca Cola made their profits on the backs (or backsides) of the hardworking American family. He also believed that the food we consumed — with its sugar and transfats and evil baby souls — contributed to the complacency in America.

It’s tough to be a smart and engaged electorate when we’re over-caffeinated yet exhausted, starving but fat, and our brains are loaded down with chemicals.

Yes. I like a guy who goes on a good anarchist rant… even when that guy is telling me to consume more flaxseed.

I made a private appointment with him to talk about my own weight issues and challenges because I weighed 140 lbs and hated myself. Of course this is all part of the body dysmorphia that plagued me for my entire life. Unfortunately, even fitness anarchists need to make a profit and this consultant saw me as a goldmine.

He told me that there are women twice my age who could run circles around me. He told me that I was on the fast track (or maybe gravy track) to hell. He recommended that I detox, cleanse my colon with some supplements in his arsenal, and hire him as a personal trainer. My favorite part was when he told me that his elderly mother was in better shape than me.

I never went back.

He did tell me one interesting thing, though. He could predict the wellness of a person by asking, “How many times do you hit your snooze alarm before you wake up?”

He told me that the healthiest—and happiest—people set their alarms and get up when the alarm goes off. No snooze button. No laying in bed listening to NPR for about 15 minutes. No secondary alarm clock on your phone across the room.

If you are healthy, you get your ass out of bed without the snooze.

He demanded that every client set an alarm clock in the morning and get up without delaying it. The ‘alarm clock’ rule forces unhealthy people to get up at the same time every day; and his clients would often go to bed at a better (and earlier) time because they were too tired from waking up early.

Healthier sleep patterns — and more sleep — are often seen as keys to weight control and wellness.

Even though this guy was a dick and made me feel like a fat cow, I still don’t set the snooze button. Neither should you.

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