I am recruiting for a Human Resources Generalist position [that really sucks] on the East Coast [not NYC — the dumpy part].
If you have a moment, I’d appreciate your help. Please take a look and forward this job [that sucks] on to anyone you think would be interested in the position [because I can’t find anyone and I’m not paying a contingent recruiter].
Thanks for your help!
Chumpsky McChump, CIR
Underpaid Corporate Recruiter
Dear Mr. McChump,
My apologies, but I’m unable to recommend anyone for your craptacular HR job. I took a look at the job description and, really, it’s not good.
I believe that my cat, Scrubby, could do this job in his sleep. He doesn’t have thumbs, but he could whip your HR department into shape; however, I wouldn’t let him accept the offer even if you doubled his current salary. (He’s paid in Tuna Flakes.) The job seems really lame.
I recommend that you take the day off, get some rest, and think about why it’s so tough to hire someone for your HR role in this economic climate.
Laurie Ruettimann, SPHR