Suckers, my life can’t get much awesomer.
- I hit & killed a squirrel. This comes on the heels of hitting a deer in January. Like a bad episode of South Park, I’m trying to kill the satanic woodland critters. We have raccoons, possums, and woodchucks in our parts — and I see the occasional fox. They should never try to cross the road when I’m around.
- I have a stye in my eye. I did some research on the interwebs and the articles keep focusing on eye hygiene, which is kind of weird because my hygiene is fine. I shower, I don’t wear eye make-up, etc. On the other hand, I did start using the health club’s therapy pool to relieve the aches & pains of being old. I wonder if germy pool + Laurie’s habit of rubbing her eyes = stye.
- I lost my unemployment paycheck. I suspect that I threw it away because, hey, who needs money when life is so great?! I called the unemployment agency and they were very nice. This happens on a regular basis and they have a policy and process, which totally appeals to the HR geek in me. I have to sign & return an affidavit, they will complete an investigation, and I might get my cash-money at some point.
So there you go. When I’m not writing my award-winning column on workforce issues for The Wall Street Journal, I’m enmeshed in the minutia of being a
hard core punk rock suburban housewife.
A stye in my eye is pretty punk rock, right?