Quick & Dirty Social Media Guidelines and Rules

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I’m not a rulesy kind of woman but (in the spirit of my lists) I have some advice and guidance for the world of social media.

I know that I’m missing a few key points. What’s not covered?

  1. Don’t be a LinkedIn snob. Connect with everyone who asks.
  2. Three selfless tweet to every self-promotional tweet. This is a tough rule to follow if you’re a narcissist like me.
  3. Your unborn child should not have a Facbeook account. Yes, I say this as a woman who has a an account for my cat. Your child will have a future identity of his own. Scrubby will not.
  4. Just because you have my mobile number doesn’t mean you can text me. This applies to recruiters, companies, vendors, random businesses, and the guy I gave my business card to at the last SHRM networking event. I gotta pay for those texts, Mister Smooth. I don’t have an unlimited plan.
  5. Don’t be a #facedumper. One contentious response to a Facebook wall post? Fine. Two responses? Pushy. Three responses? You just walked into my house and took a crap in my foyer. Thanks a lot, buddy.
  6. Social media is more than just Twitter and Facebook. What else is it? Well, it’s a phenomenal time-waster for starters. Go take a walk outside.
  7. Family and social media don’t mix. Do I even need to elaborate?
  8. Let me opt-out of your email list a little easier. I didn’t even put myself on there in the first place. Are you a business or a Russian credit card theft ring?
  9. Video podcasts shouldn’t be eight minutes long. This is 2010. I can’t pay attention to anything for more than four minutes — and that includes my own videos.
  10. Don’t forget that we don’t know one another in real life. Boundaries are important. None of this is real until you meet someone. And even then it’s not all that real.

One more thing. I don’t mind reading about what you had for lunch but I don’t want to read the gory details of your latest cold, bunion surgery, or urinary tract infection. I’m squeamish, yo. Give me a chance to opt-out before I have to learn about your gross body troubles, okay?

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