Dudes, I submitted my resume to Starbucks for a store manager job.
I was serious in the way that people are serious when they’re like, “What the hell? Why not? What else am I doing? I need a career change!”
Within two hours, this was the response:
Thank you for your interest in joining the Starbucks team. We have reviewed your qualifications for the store manager position, and need to inform you that we are pursuing other candidates at this time. We wanted to let you know so that you can continue to explore other opportunities.
I laughed pretty hard because I was screened out by an automated recruiting system within record time. It’s so weird to know that no human made this decision; I was reviewed and rejected by an algorithm. Starbucks may have an internal candidate, too, and this external search process may simply be a formality.
Nevertheless, I was sullen & depressed — for like two minutes, yo — because I’m not qualified to manage a Starbucks. What the hell?
Now I’m fine. Back to life as an unemployed housewife and punk rock HR Blogger. You can catch me at Starbucks, later today, being all smug about my awesomeness.