The Market, Math & Money: My New Financial TV Show


I worked in Human Resources and it goes without saying that I have three weaknesses.

  • Understanding the stock market,
  • math,
  • and money.

I try to educate myself so I can hang with the cool kids and keep myself out of poverty, and I read a boatload of political and financial blogs so I can understand what the hell is happening in this country.

I just read Nate Silver’s blog on FiveThirtyEight, this weekend, where he discredited the conservative pundits who are attempting to frame the stock market’s performance as a rejection of Obama’s stimulus package. Did you read it? Here is my favorite line in the post.

Disclosure of conflict of interest: I own some mutual funds. I’d like to see ’em go up. I’m not an anti-Wall Street guy. I’m just anti-stupid.

Good lord, Nate Silver, you had me at hello.

I’d like to see more anti-stupid coverage of the bailouts and the stimulus package. Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t trust a business pundit as far as I could throw him. Citibank is being robbed by Nigerians and might be nationalized; AIG is asking for more money; and my house is still up for sale in Kalamazoo because Michigan’s economy is a crap-hole.

What do most business journalists want to cover? The day-to-day fluctuations in the stock market. Give me a break.

If I hosted my own show on CNN or CNBC, I would offer more anti-stupid coverage of the economy. I would shine a light of common sense right up the ass of Rick Santelli. I would stop following the stock market like a crack whore — I’m talking to you, Jim Cramer — and I would start following the short-term trends that matter most to Americans: the price of gas, the cost of bananas, and the rising unemployment rates.

More importantly, I would come after Larry Kudlow like a chimp on Xanax and argue that the financial markets operate on a deficit of common sense — and I would ask Nate Silver to be my first guest. I need someone to back me up with math & statistics & shiz. While I don’t have the data to prove it, I believe that something is going right for the American people when financial traders are unhappy and the stock market plummets.

Get my agent on the phone. I need a show on a cable news channel. Stat.

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