The Pornographic State of Social Media and Blogging


We are living in a time of pornography and vulgarity. My blog is part of the problem.

When you come to my blog, you see a woman who has control of her time, control of her career, and a pretty sweet work environment. You lust after my freedom. You desire my independence. You long for your own independent career as a writer, speaker, or social media expert.

Here’s what you don’t see.

  • I don’t talk to another human being for 60% of my day.
  • I will often argue with myself about whether or not my work output sucks.
  • Until 2010, I made money in fits & starts and had to rely upon my husband to give me Starbucks money.
  • The only regular and consistent feedback I receive is from strangers named Evgeny.

I don’t mind these working conditions because I appreciate my life. I love the fact that I have the freedom to cobble together a career out of writing, consulting, and speaking. I don’t have kids and I have a husband with health insurance. For me, this is all pretty awesome.

But Ken might die before me, my blog might jump the shark before I make any real money, and I might not have anyone around to take care of me when I’m old. Those aren’t the reasons why I took a job at Starr Tincup, but they are part of a bigger reason why I wanted some stability in my life.


There is a weird level of risk out there in the world of consulting, writing, and speaking that isn’t being portrayed properly and responsibly by the social media and blogging community. We know that 44% of small businesses are launched via credit card. We also know that 90% of small businesses fail in five years. So I have some advice for the reader out there who hates her job and wants a job as a blogger, social media expert, or consultant.

  • If you have a real job with benefits and a paycheck, keep it.
  • If you have a career that sucks, realize that you don’t have to be an A player. Fill your free time with stuff that doesn’t suck.
  • If you have a boss who hates you, focus on your family who loves you.
  • If your family doesn’t love you, fix that.

And you would be wise to remember that all desire equals suffering. I know you won’t listen to me, but you should stop lusting after a career (and a life) that probably doesn’t exist. Find joy in your current routines. Enjoy the autumn season. Spend time with your kids. Volunteer with puppies. Drink more pumpkin spice lattes.

And stop envying bloggers and social media consultants who churn out infographics and seem to spend all their time doing really important things on the internets. Everyone in the game of social media and blogging is hustling. Hardly anyone makes money. Many of these gurus and consultants are sad & lonely souls who wish that Corporate America would find the time to hire them into a department with infrastructure, political infighting, and a mediocre budget.

Trust me.

Your job may suck but every job sucks. Even awesome ones. Now excuse me while I go drink a salted caramel mocha in my yoga pants. You can be a little jealous as long as you eventually stop, get some perspective, and hug your kids.

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