The Week Ahead


Happy Sunday. What a long week. I returned from London and went straight to Texas for a couple of days.

I was a tired woman.

My time in Texas was interesting. I landed and went straight to a very small and informal reception. There was a taco truck and some beer. Nothing outrageous. Here’s the interesting part…  some guy came to the party and got a little mouthy. The altercation was over before it started but feelings were exchanged and words were expressed.

For once, I missed the incident. Can you believe it? I feel both blessed and robbed. When I heard about the story, I asked my friend to point the guy out to me.

“That guy?” I asked.

In the daylight, the guy looked normal. He looked like a teller. He looked like an analyst on desk duty at The State Department. He looked like a store manager at Verizon Wireless.

So I asked, “Over there? Are you sure? In the Dockers?”

Yeah, that guy.

Wow. All I can say is that there’s one of those guys at every event. Last year, I witnessed a drunken HR vendor call another guy a fag at a party. That was after I saw him insult a bunch of women based on their appearance. If I remember the story right, he called some woman a whore. (Someone tell me if that sounds right. The fag part is definitely right.) The craziest part? The guy eventually sat down on a chair and fell off his seat a few minutes later, thus answering the age-old question — “Is it possible to fall on your ass when you are sitting?”

It is.

I dunno, dudes. I like to have a good time but I keep asking — who acts like this?

The answer is simple. It’s the guy (or woman) next door. It’s your buddy from poker. It’s your brother. Your spouse.

“Not my Daniel. He would never act like that.”

Okay, whatever, I’m not here to judge. But I’ve seen it with my own eyes and it doesn’t take much to move a man from mild-mannered HR vendor to a belligerent conference predator. Whether it’s verbal or sexual, it always involves alcohol. Always.

And the same was true with this guy in Texas. Or so I’ve heard.

I would encourage my friends to stay (relatively) sober at the next few events. Don’t be that guy who gets mouthy, says something stupid and causes a scene.

And if you are that guy, remember this joke.

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Who cares? They never get the house, anyway.

So there you go.

My week ahead should be easy. No incidents in a bar, I hope.

What’s up with you guys? Anything fun and new?

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