When I lived in Chicago, 4th of July was a nightmare. The neighborhoods would light up like districts in Baghdad. I remember coming home from college, one year, and wondering if the single thing that differentiates between “success in life” and “abject poverty” is the love of illegal fireworks.
Who lets a kid shoot a bazooka of sparkly fire down an alley in the city?
Assholes, that’s who.
So if you’re celebrating, be safe. I am not worried about you. Just don’t play with illegal fireworks because I am worried about how your poor choices and (most likely) latent alcoholism can harm and injure an innocent bystander over the holiday.
Plus you are scaring my cats, moron.
Okay, everyone, have a great week!