Top 10 Ways To Succeed As A Volunteer

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I wanted to share with you a list of ways you can be more like me — a woman who volunteers her time without pretense or precondition — because she loves animals.

*And is unemployed. And has nothing else to do.

Here are my tips.

  1. When in doubt, be offended.
  2. Remember: you’re the only person who is “in it” for the cause.
  3. Your opinion is the only one that matters.
  4. Use email to insult. Use committee meetings to make small talk and avoid issues.
  5. Even when you’re not an expert on something, fake it. No one knows the difference.
  6. Live by the golden rule: all of your suggestions are golden, baby, and without fault.
  7. Your husband won’t allow you to micromanage his life; therefore, micromanage a fundraising activity or a team meeting. People will thank you.
  8. No one can quantify how much your time is worth, but it’s worth more than everyone else.
  9. You can’t talk about yourself or your life experiences enough. That’s what makes you so impressive.
  10. We didn’t hear your brilliant idea. Say it louder.

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