As I was ticking off my list of challenges — calming my brain, staying focused, feeling less moody, developing healthy goals and sticking with them — the psychologist asked me if I had ever been screened for ADHD.
Ugh. Are you kidding me? The whole world suffers from ADHD. Look at these adult symptoms.
- Difficulty Getting Organized. Are you kidding me? How do you think Container Store is able to monetize?
- Reckless Driving. I’m just back from Chicago. That’s called Tuesday.
- Marital Difficulties. Yeah, uh, well, nobody is perfect. And I’m still married.
- Extreme Distractibility. Hello, internet?
- Poor Listening Skills. I am listening. Really.
- Restlessness. I will own this. I’m permanently restless and I cannot relax. I keep telling myself to take a meditation class.
- Difficulty Starting a Task. See #6. WAIT I JUST FOUND A CLASS AND BOOKED MYSELF AS AN ATTENDEE.
- Chronic Lateness. No, actually, I am always ten minutes early to everything due to my OCD.
- Angry Outbursts. If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention. Also, I’m not angry. I am passionate.
- Prioritizing Issues. Everything is important. Nothing is important. It is all about shifting perspectives.
I am not a big believer in being diagnosed with anything so I won’t be screened for ADHD.
I will admit that I tried to tell my husband about the sports psychologist and interrupted myself seven times to tell him OTHER stories — including the fact that I googled Aishwarya Rai for no reason, the other day, and fell into a story about her weight controversy — and almost forgot the point of what I was talking about in the first place.
And I forgot to book a car rental for my trip to Toronto, this week.
Oh well. Highly successful people have active minds. Like Sir Richard Branson.
They also have staff.
I believe that training, exercise and meditation can help align all of that mental activity and shift the energy in a more positive way. So now I just need to find someone who will help me run and fix my brain. And I need to find a way to focus all of this mental energy on something more worthwhile and important than scanning the internet and getting distracted by Google and celebrity gossip.
But I don’t have ADHD because that’s so 90s.