I had my first real job when I was twenty-years-old. I filled a vacancy in a Human Resources department. I wasn’t very good at it. My boss didn’t like me. Whenever I did something wrong, which was daily, the feedback was direct and clear.
And I did try harder. I tried harder to stack some cheddar and move to London.
But my boss left a lasting impression on me because nothing scared her. Difficult conversations? Drug addicts? Lawyers? Unions? Alleged misappropriation of company funds?
She was fearless because she was right. Competency unburdens you from drama and politics.
And she wasn’t there to make friends.
The biggest moments of growth in my career were the moments when someone wasn’t force-feeding me a lesson in leadership. And the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life were the ones where people spoke honestly and candidly to me about my performance.
I have had a few more bosses like my first one. I do well when someone gives me space, direction and the ability to succeed or fail based on my own abilities. I never do well with someone who asks me how I like to be managed. If you have to ask, we are done. And if you try to inspire me, I won’t respect you.
I know people are different from me. And I know the current thinking is to manage according to different motivating factors and flex your style for different types of people (young, old, creative, professional, blue collar, etc.).
But I also know the difference between what works and what doesn’t. So my leadership style is a hodgepodge. I am a “mean HR lady” and a compassionate — but emotionally distant — Gen X slacker. Quite simply, I am a little tired. I like what we are doing but I would rather be at the beach. Not every moment is a teachable moment. We are adults. I believe in accountability. We should do great work and have as much fun as realistically possible. But I’m not here to make friends.
What’s your style?