Lots of career coaches out there will tell you that you’ll never get a job with your poor attitude. They will coach you on body language, on appearance, and on your overall demeanor. Smile more. Scowl less. Sit up straight. Wear the right clothes.
Of course they are correct. You look dumpy and this isn’t amateur hour. Get a new pair of shoes.
But you’ll also never get a job because
- your industry is outdated.
- your skills have fallen behind.
- you lack confidence.
- you lack intelligence.
- your credit score is poor.
- you lack a basic understanding of math & science.
- you never finished college.
- your target employer market is filled with racist, sexist, boneheaded people.
There are a million reasons why you will never get a job. The biggest one?
- There are no jobs to be had.
Job growth? Stagnant. Companies? Incented by Wall Street to invest in technology instead of people. Innovation? Strong in certain pockets of America — but not real America and not where you live.
Some ideas for you if you can’t find a job.
- Take that piss poor attitude and run for office.
- Take that bad posture and get involved in your local community.
- Take your dumpy wardrobe and go to a Chamber of Commerce mixer, a Rotary Club meeting, or an Optimist Club meeting. Tell your story.
Activity — and activism — is free.
Speak up where it matters.
Get to work.
24 comments ...wanna add one?
I’d like to add to your list that you’ll never get a job in a professional setting if your grammar is horrific. It never ceases to amaze me the number of people who type notes on an application that make absolutely no sense. I saw one the other day that, and I cant make this crap up, “It dont got to be that much money, it negoiate in interview”.
It’s funny because I debated whether or not it should be
a) Activity—and activism—is free.
or
b) Activity—and activism—are free.
I think it’s the first one because activism is set off by the dash; however, I should have written a simpler sentence. Activity and activism are free. I try to replicate the pause & breath in my natural speech. Very few of us speak in a grammatically correct way.
And thank you for letting me talk that out.
You are on a roll sistah. I was going to say, to heck with it, just go work on line. Build a blog, make some easy money….then I read The Pornographic State of Social Media. gulp. nevermind.
(bee-tea-dubs “Take that piss poor attitude and run for office” my favorite line of the day)
Thank you. Or maybe don’t run for office — but stop getting mad at politicians on TV and get mad where it matters (i.e., anywhere except your sofa).
Kathy’s right: you’re killing it this week.
The unfortunate truth is that there aren’t jobs, despite the flappy jaws out there.
I moved to the East Coast in May and have had (at this point) more than 6 jobs cancelled after interviewing in person. (I know it’s not me, so no worries there. I have great shoes.)
It just goes to show that even while many businesses are trying, the uncertainties, the financial losses and the dearth of quality people (aside from me ad my great shoes) are the final death knells in the process. As always, it’s what you do when you’re feeling down and out that makes you a winner … or not.
You do have great shoes.
Another reason for the list: you do not want to work.
Since the downturn in 2008, I have been filling 1 or 2 positions a year on my team. All of them have been either new positions or backfilling a promotion (no backfilling of terminations). All of them have been budgeted at $50k or more in salary for a midwest market (not Chicago) .
It is unbelivable how many candidates do not want to work. They only want to work only the one aspect of the job (You only want to work on the most interesting 20% – That’s nice. I wish I could only focus on the best part of my job but it does not work that way. So keep enjoying your unemployment).
We had one turn down an offer because it would require too much effort. (You just became unemployed w/o severance. You’re getting a 10% increase for the same amount of hours per week. We just have higher expectations than your previous employer. God, we are heartless bastards for doing that.).
We had another one turn down the offer because our area did not seem fun enough (Our day might not be as fun as being a contractor in a different department of our company. However we were offering benefits, PTO, job stability & a solid pay increase which seems like a fair trade to me. But WTF do I know?).
I will admit that Ken turned down an interview in Hunstville because, well, it’s Hunstville. I don’t care that it has one of the highest PhD ratios in America. It’s Hunstville. I can’t do it.
Otherwise I agree. People are picky. But Jesus — sometimes I don’t want to work when it means dealing with the same 90s management bullshit expectations for the same amount of money.
You want me to write a self assessment, give you 360 feedback, and talk about a culture of employee engagement? Fuck you. How about I just do my job. The one you pay me for. And then how about I go home and have a life.
I dunno. I’m weird like that. This is why Starr Tincup is perfect for me.
Laurie,
I’m really enjoying your blog, and this post definitely hits close to home.
Me? Poor credit, undereducated, and outdated skills. My most marketable skills were in construction, a field that didn’t require degrees, good credit and all of the above, and there are definitely no jobs available in that industry.
So, what do? Back to school and building some skills (I’m even blogging about it @ underemployed.posterous.com). Took myself out of the nonexistent job market in the hopes that I come back better prepared.
Micah Mayo
Good luck, Micah.
You are the height of awesomeness. Just sayin.
Hey thank you. I have you fooled!
I don’t know how I stumbled across your blog, but it is much appreciated from this 20yr old Texas gal!
Thank you!
My favorite excuse from the chronically unemployed is that they don’t want to take a step down or have to work up to where they think they should be. One tip — you won’t get anywhere on the couch, no matter how many times you tweet about how awesome you know you are despite your resume and actual work experience. And no one sees how awesome you are if you’re not showing them. Do something. Anything. Even *gasp* try being someone’s assistant. We have jobs open. We want to hire. We live in an awesome place. And we promote from within. I know we aren’t the only company that does that, so please stop telling me how awesome you would be in a job I don’t have open and show me how awesome you are.
So true. I don’t want to take a step down either. Ever. Take a fucking step down, people.
But here’s a tip: you don’t have to take a step down when your shit is under control. Don’t mortgage yourself out to the devil and you won’t have to sign that awful pact.
SalesComp: Excuse me while I go pick my jaw up off the floor….I wish I’d known you two years ago.
Micah: Stay focused, and stay positive. Keep learning, keep trying and keep meeting people. It’s who you know.
He’s still hiring, I think.
One of my students tuned me into your blog and I cannot thank her enough!!
How about a basic understanding of how to put two sentences together or communicate?? Forget knowing basic math and science, it scares me when people coming out of a fairly good university have no conversational skills, no eye contact and shakes my hand like it’s a wet fish!! What is up with that??
Your students? Awesome. Thank you.
Dang kids.
There are some jobs, but many of them requrire skills and pay less than many college grads hope. The college grads who apply for our positions all seem to think that $60K is the going rate once you’ve got that degree! We are in a high-cost area, but our job pays $40K+ and we can’t seem to fill it. People with the right skills and qualifications don’t want to do the job for the money. There are no other jobs out there, which is why the company won’t raise the salary, but some people would rather be unemployed than accept less pay.
**We are in a high-cost area, but our job pays $40K+ and we can’t seem to fill it.**
The answer lies within that very statement.
Capitalism v. Labor.
Who wins the war? Who retains dignity in this battle?
That’s the depressing reality, that there just aren’t a lot of jobs to be had right now. Recently I was speaking with a recruiter and career coach who says that companies aren’t hiring because the baby boomers aren’t retiring. Even if they are, they just don’t have the budget to invest in training new employees. It’s not a fun time to be looking for a job.