The Final HR Technology Conference & Exposition Email from Bill Kutik — Ever.

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Bill on Fire Island 2013I have a love/hate relationship with the HR Technology Conference and Exposition.

The conference is a very respectable place to scope out new technology. Full stop. But every year, I get bat-shit crazy emails from the conference organizer (Bill Kutik) who begs me to blog about it.

I think he sends the same note to everyone but adds an extra dash of crazy just to catch my attention.

This is Bill’s last conference. He is retiring and opening up a pottery studio on Fire Island. I will miss this crazy guy. I love Bill like an abusive and demanding father, which is appropriate because he hates punk-ass kids like me and yet he’s always very kind to me. It is confusing. I might need therapy once he’s gone.

So this year, I am going to pull back the curtain and just post the email he sent to me along with my internal monologue.

Shit, Laurie, I don’t know what you’re gonna say this year! Mostly you bad-mouth HR technology (lowercase “t”) but you are uniquely positioned to explain why the conference is important for everyone in HR, where smart people realize everyone needs to learn more about this stuff or climb into the dumpster.

Sorry no inside scoop like getting married two years ago. But I can’t imagine anyone else would use the attached picture of me on Fire Island* with my radioactive tan.

[*Laurie’s note: Those dahlias are appropriately gay and the tan is radioactive. It works. I’ll use the photo.]

Do include this line somewhere exactly as written*:

“Just use the Promo Code CYNICAL13 (all caps) when you register online www.HRTechConference.com to get $500 off the rack rate of $1,895. The discount does not expire until the conference ends on Oct. 9th.”

[*Laurie’s note: Jeez, this guy is so bossy.]

You might want to note that’s only 12 weeks away now, less depending on when you post. And the hotel rooms are going fast. Don’t get stuck in the (ugh) Luxor*.

[*Laurie’s note: I am old enough to remember when the Luxor used to be a nice hotel.]

Be great if you could post in July but certainly well before Labor Day so your readers will have a full month to get the deal and their acts together*.

[*Laurie’s note: Jesus, this guy micromanages. Who’s the blogger here? I am glad I don’t work for him.]

And if you think you’ve been so persuasive and just went to send them directly to the Conference Brochure and the Registration Page. Otherwise I don’t need to tell you about the conference*.

[*Laurie’s note: Except he just did.]

As Bugs used to say, “That’s all folks.” You can pick your own favorite sessions from the brochure. Egotistically, my favorites are the ones I’m in*.

[*Laurie’s note: Asking me to pick a favorite session is like asking me to pick my favorite STD. Herpes? Drug-resistant gonorrhea? HPV?]

Please let me know when you’ve posted. Or put @billkutik in your tweet about it, and I’ll be told right away. #HRTechConf is our hash tag, of course. Thanks again. See you in Vegas*.

[*Laurie’s note: Maybe.]

Best…Bill

There you go. That is the last email I will ever receive from Bill on this subject. The annual messages are like Ulysses and the Odyssey. Long. Involved. Sweeping. Nobody ever reads them.

But there is a lesson in this letter, folks.

  • Relentless, authentic relationship-building wins over even the most cynical bloggers.

So please use the Promo Code CYNICAL13 (all caps) when you register online www.HRTechConference.com to get $500 off the rack rate of $1,895. The discount does not expire until the conference ends on Oct. 9.

And enjoy your pottery studio on Fire Island, Bill!

PS — I just received another email from him. Looks like this shit will continue through the fall. He wrote, “Thanks again for agreeing to write a preview. The first ones from China Gorman and Jarret Pazahanick have lit up Twitter. Smaller ones by Thomas Otter and Vinnie Mirchandani have disappeared without a trace.” You can’t do this guy a favor. That’s why I love him. I’m just like him.

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