This is a picture of me. Do you know who that guy is next to me? It’s Ryan Estis. We are both keynoting the MN SHRM conference.
Ryan and I took time out of our busy schedules on Friday in Raleigh to discuss important and critical issues.
- Brad Pitt versus Robert Pattinson versus Ryan Gossling
- How to remove peeling wallpaper
- The messaging on my blog
Ryan told me, “You need to stop telling people to be average. Average people get fired and laid off.”
And I have to tell you — he is wrong. Sorta.
We are living in disruptive times. Nearly everyone who works in a corporate job will get laid off at some point in her career. The odds are against you. There are amazing people who are now zero marginal product workers. There are hard working men and women who — through no fault of their own — worked for companies that failed. And there are average workers who will lose their jobs, too.
I know a few things about work and about life.
- We don’t control as much as we think we control.
- Our time on this earth is limited. We have what’s been given to us. Then we die.
So my advice is simple: be a good human being and use your time wisely. You can pour your heart and soul into a career or your personal life — but you probably can’t do both. You cannot expect to attain happiness, health, wealth, fame, prosperity, and inner peace all at the same time.
Your job won’t bring any of that to you, anyway.
If you are lucky, your job is a pathway to a better personal life. If you are like most people, your job is something that facilitates better relationships and a more thoughtful understanding of the way the world works. And sometimes your job will get in the way of a better life. That’s when adult choices have to be made.
Being an adult is hard.
With your limited time on earth, do you want to be a great dental hygienist or a great wife? Do you want to be a great marketing professional or a great husband? We don’t always have to make a choice — and some of us are lucky enough to live in both worlds where our careers and our personal lives are awesome — but it’s rare. And that’s okay. I am here to tell you that it’s okay to be an average pharmaceutical sales representative who meets his sales quota and a great soccer coach. You can be an average HR professional and an awesome brownie troop leader.
Those girls need you more than some moron at work.
So stop worrying about being laid off. It will probably happen. Do the best you can in life. Have integrity. And stop listening to people who tell you that your career is a manifestation of who you are as a person. Your actions and deeds reflect who you are as a human being. Not your job. Not ever.
And here is a Human Resources secret:
- You know who gets fired first? The mediocre asshole who thinks he is awesome but is substantially lacking in self-awareness.
That guy always gets the hatchet first. Trust me. I’ve fired that guy thousands of times in my life. Don’t be that guy and you just might make it through this world fine.
But do listen to Ryan and read his blog. He is awesome and he is trying to save us all. Even me.
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Hey Laurie,
Sometimes you are a bit “out there” with your blog but someone’s got to raise the hard questions and stir the pot, right? So you keep doing it!
This blog post was very timely. I have been contemplating being “above-average” but not a superstar, MBA, solved global warming and indispensable at work for a while. I do my bit for the the world, my community, family & friends and I feel very good about that. Yeah, me!
But I would like these sucky economic times to turn around NOW so I can stop worrying about stability, money for retirement and buying something not on sale. But all those shiny mega-superstar 20-30 somethings are a force to contend with. Hello? Experience? Doesn’t anybody want that anymore?
So my rant is wandering off topic but you get my drift. If we don’t have the average, those superstars have nothing to compare themselves to. It doesn’t mean they come equipped with compassion, integrity, leadership and team focus.
Hanging in there at “Slightly Above-Average” but with a big heart.
Well thanks (I think) about being out there. I have nothing to lose. Makes me a little obnoxious.
I saw Ryan speak at the NCSHRM conference on Friday. He is awesome. It was not awesome that you weren’t there to speak we could have used some Laurie in that conference. P.S. I didn’t see any HR chicks slash your tire. Although I didn’t see anything at all after Ryan finished cause I ran like a bat out of hell to take the kiddies to the park. So, pretty good Mom just ok HR chick and I am ok with that.
Ryan is awesome. I’ve learned so much from him throughout the years. He is a a great mentor.
I’ve sifted through all the different opinions on work and life, and here’s what I think about these people that try to say that “work is a manifestation of your identity:” They’re screwing with a formula that doesn’t need screwin’ with. You’re a child, you go to school, it takes up half the waking-day. Maybe you go to college as a young adult. You take classes, a part-time job, it takes up half the day. You become a “real adult,” you get a full-time job, it takes up half the day. We set the bar too high by trying to find some type of harmony at work. It makes me feel like some of these corporate types are resenting the simple fact that they have to put on nice pants and plug away at work to stay alive, so they overcompensate by glorifying their jobs. Work is like cleaning the dirty dishes: Just frickin’ do it.
Being average is underrated. It gets the job done. Some people don’t even try, and become a burden on society, so if you’re at least trying to make ends meet, you’re doin’ OK. And if everyone was excellent, no one would be excellent, they would just all be “on par.” There’s too much pressure on us, and there doesn’t need to be.
Matt,
People like Ryan do not resent their work. Their work is their life. Rather they do not understand why other people are not the same as them. It is easy to achieve balance & harmony when your work, life & identity are all the same thing.
If your total existence is wrapped-up in your work; naturally you will want to be amazing or at least above average at your work.
No, Ryan 100% loves what he does for a living. It’s core to who he is as a human being. If he weren’t speaking, he would go nuts.
Some people are driven to merge the personal and professional. I’m driven to eat potato chips.
I cant even begin to tell you how much I agree with this post. I like to say I’m a reformed workaholic. Being above average at what I did was something I was proud of, and to maintain it meant working from home after work was supposed to be over. It took time away from family; time that should have been spent laughing or goofing around was instead spent with email and spreadsheets.
Work is not the most important thing in life. It wont hug you back, spreadsheets are cold like that. If being average at work means being above average at home, I’m ok with that. Screw work if it means me and my family are happy.
I think that if you’re a good human being, you will do a great job at work. And you will have balance.
Great post Laurie! My philosophy from day one at 21yrs old was to try to put in the time while I had no attachments..to really learn how to be good at what I do. Now that I’m married and have a child on the way, I’d like to think my average is very slightly above average because of great habits. Life is short and priorities do shift. Companies will cut you loose, but meaningful relationships and family are for the long haul.
Meaningful relationships are all that matters.
Oddly enough, I’ve also seen the actual above averages (that aren’t assholes) be let go in that first wave of layoffs. Those above averages are hard work for a manager. They come up with ideas that have to be implemented, point out what mechanisms aren’t working, and managers generally have to waste time with them.
Much better to have those averages – they keep their heads down and process the work. It allows the manager to focus on his work (and keep his head down so no one in upper management looks too closely at him during the layoffs).
Totally. In this economy, everyone takes a hit. Or someone we love takes a hit. It’s scary.
This is SO true.
Having been a recent layoff, I hope I’m in the above as opposed to asshole category. I think what’s confusing is being charged with finding ways to work smarter not harder means (I think – or rather I thought) coming up with ideas and figuring out what’s not working while providing solutions that do – it’s funny, I keep thinking about what I could have done differently and what I come up with is I should have just been average and heads down – so this thread is extremely timely.
On the plus side, I did land on my feet right away – and am planning on loving what I do without killing myself in doing it.
Hell yes, Laurie. I’m with you 100%. My family’s made up of workaholics that think they’re saving the world, but the fire’s never really put out, right? I’m also a big fan of work smarter, not harder. Working every day from 8am-8pm doesn’t mean anything if you just don’t get it.
You’re awesome.
You can’t save the world in a cubicle.
Laurie–This is one the best posts I have ever read from you. Thanks.
When, exactly, did ‘average’ come to mean ‘lousy’? Does it mean that all but the top 10% of Harvard Medical School grads should just pack it in and take a call center job? I’m moving to Lake Wobegon where ‘all the children are above average.’
I wonder if I was near Lake Wobegon at #mnshrm?
Thanks for the compliment.
You were. Lake Wobegon is just up the road from St Cloud.
Team Brad!
Also: I just took an IQ/Personality test that said I was just slightly above average in terms of my ability to process information quickly. Then I had to give it to my company owner, who is in the top 5% in most of the areas I was just to the right of the top on, on a normal distribution curve.
It was a little freeing. Yep. I’m not that smart/special. But at least I have a lot of good company.
Finally, someone gets to the heart of the issue.
Estis is team brad. I am team Gossling. We both wonder why Pattinson is so popular but I can see his appeal when I watch Water for Elephants.
Also, you’re brilliant and amazing and I miss you. Test results or not.
But what if you are not average?
Most of us are.
Few of us know it.
Laurie:
Couldn’t agree with you more. When it comes to work, my motto is:
“I care. Just not that much.”
“I care. Just not that much.” LOL – I will borrow if you don’t mind.
Ann
I will defend my averageness to the death! Or until something good comes on TV.
Spec-tac-u-lar-eh! That’s Spanish Canadian for ‘really good stuff.’
Now to the really important stuff: Gossling, with water and heat, and what’s wrong with the messaging?
Don’t fix what ain’t broke lady.
Laurie –
As always good advice. I like the balance, and hopefully coincidence of personal and career goals.
Micah Mayo
Everything in moderation and so it applies to average vs above average folks. We need the balance. Now we don’t want all average folks at work, do we?
Also by the way being above average does not mean you are correct or will do right all the time. The financial crisis is created by Harvard, Stanford, Kellog school grads. Now that was a crisis we all know..
You know who gets fired first? The mediocre asshole who thinks he is awesome but is substantially lacking in self-awareness.
You know what else? Nobody even feels bad about it. We’ve all fired this guy a dozen times, in a heartbeat, and without a second thought. “Times are tough, dump the douche.” Average and a decent person? People feel bad about firing you, take extra time to decide, and look for other ways to save money or solve problems before they fire you.
Ummm….your blog is called Cynical Girl for a reason. Stick with what works!
P.S. Pitt is clearly the right answer.
“So stop worrying about being laid off. It will probably happen. Do the best you can in life. Have integrity. And stop listening to people who tell you that your career is a manifestation of who you are as a person. Your actions and deeds reflect who you are as a human being. Not your job. Not ever.”
The best advice EVER! I had always defined myself by my career. I had worked for 21 and a half years for Ohio’s largest newspaper. Moved to Michigan in 2001 (after meeting my husband online) and the bottom fell out. Had NINE jobs in less than 10 yrs. Lost my last one to downsizing in 2007. Had to reinvent, hence the arrival of my blog in 2009.
People are incredulous when they hear what I do (or don’t do) I need to print your words above onto a T-shirt and wear it with pride.
So if I’ve already been laid off, I’ve had my turn. I should be safe now, right?
If we set the whole “you’re more likely to get fired” thing aside, this is still bullshit advice, Laurie.
Our time on this earth is limited. We have what’s been given to us. Then we die.
So my advice is simple: be a good human being and use your time wisely
Exactly! So why sell people short and tell them they can only be good at one thing or the other? My mom was a great teacher (I know this because of all her old students that we’d run into when we were out) and a fantastic mother.
You can have both, and it’s not something that’s just for the lucky few. It’s for the people who work at it really hard. The people who want it.
I get what you’re trying to say – the personal branding gurus who put pressure on everyone to be a rockstar all the time in the sake of “building a brand” are misleading people, too.
But to tell folks they should embrace mediocrity? That’s a huge disservice to your readers – not just professionally, but personally.
The problem with accepting mediocrity is that you achieve it the minute you decide it’s okay to be average. Statistically speaking – we can’t all be average (even though studies have shown that 90% of us think we are above average – which is impossible.)
The thing is – average at what? Your job, your life, as a parent, as a pet owner, as a … fill in the blank. I’ll never assume I’m average – even if it means spending my life searching for what I am above average at – that is meaning.
Remember Curly’s Law from City Slickers:
Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?
Curly: This. [holds up one finger]
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean shit.
Mitch: But what is the “one thing?”
Curly: [smiles] That’s what you have to find out.
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